"The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday, after a lacklustre performance that is believed to have caused Michael Schumachers accident.
The announcement that followed was Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the Australian Government's Youth Opportunity scheme and employ people from Macquarie Fields.
The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Macquarie Fields area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high-tech equipment.
John Howard went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of Australia's employment practices under his Liberal government. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have an advantage over every team.
However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for......At the crew's first practice session, the Macquarie Fields pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, and then within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for a slab of VB, a kilogram of speed and some photos of Montoya's girlfriend in the shower.
In other news Williams have signed up local hero Jesse Kelly as their new driver, due to experience in being able to escape other vehicles while under pressure at high speed.""