GTRSRULE!!!

just saw a black r33 with plenty of red p's on it, doing a loop of my street. (cul de sac) 1 hand on the wheel 1 hand holding a phonetalking if ur on sau use a bloody hands free mate.

Beatles What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets. [/b]:;"] Celebrity Farting Shaggy,Shania Twain, and Britney Spears go in a limo to a restaurant. Someone farts and Shaggy says,"Wasn''t me!". Shania Twain says," That don''t impress me much." Britney Spears says,"Oops, I did it again."

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i've seen him too

A Very Special Dictionary THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under a car's hood. For a male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n. Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes ''look bigger.'' Male: what you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes. Riddle: The Man A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor. Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor. But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up. The only exception is when it's raining. Why? The man's a midget, and can't reach the buttons. When it's raining, he has his umbrella with him, so he can reach the 15 button with it.

ah missed that cheers sl!m. Blonde Battallion What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth! Mary Lou has the Last Laugh Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys. They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that was in her garden. Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties. She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any panties. What starts with ''F'' and ends with ... What starts with ''F'' and ends with ''UCK?'' Firetruck!

Blonde Test What happens to you when you find out a blonde passed a test? You wake up. In the Groove A hippie saunters into an urban Bar & Grill and orders a cheeseburger. "But make sure to make it not too well done, not too rare, but just in the groove." The waiter is a little annoyed at this, but serves him the burger. "Waiter!" the hippie says after a little bit. "Could I get a cup of tea? Not too weak, not too strong, but just in the groove." More annoyed now, the waiter contemplates pissing in the tea, but doesn''t. "Waiter!" the hippies says a little later. "Could I get some ice cream? Not too chocolate, not too vanilla, but just in the groove." "Wait," said the waiter. "I have another idea. How ''bout you kiss my ass? Not too much to the right, not too much to the left, but just in the groove." Gorilla in a Tree As he is quietly watching television at home, a man hears a sound on the roof of his house and rushes out to investigate. Seeing it is a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly calls up the local zoo autorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He is reassured that a gorilla recovering unit is on the way and to remain calm. A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulls up to the house. The elderly driver takes from the back of the truck a chihuahua dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat and a 12 gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla who had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap ask him how he will go about doing this. As he hands him over the .12 gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explains the plan: 'First I'll climb up there with the ladder, then I approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat; As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chihuahua dog will attack its private parts. When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo...' Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asks why he was handed the .12 gauge shotgun? 'Well... ' explains the experienced gorilla retriever, 'It's just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball bat, shoot the dog.'

Another Saturday Night Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes? Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night! Gorilla Language A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo one day, when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge. The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on. Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid. I Enjoy Being a Girl Every day I give thanks to the Goddess: I have two mounds upon my bodice, I shave my legs, I sit down to pee, I can justify any shopping spree. Not to a barber, but a beauty salon. Can get a massage without a hard on, Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas, Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass. I always save money by using coupons. Can admit to others when I am wrong. Don't drive in circles at any cost, So I don't have to admit when I am lost. I don't act like I'm in a timed marathon, Every time I go to the john. Listen to me boys, Those things in your pants that you treat as toys, You love them more then we ever will, We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill. I spend two hours preparing for a date, Only to find you're two hours late. I don't watch movies with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay to remember the... score. I won't lose my hair. I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch. I don't wear the same underwear every day, The food in my fridge has no sign of decay. I don't go to Sears To look at the tools. I don't cheat at poker, I follow the rules. I don't smoke cigars. Don't pay for drinks at bars. I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi." And it's okay for me to cry. I know all you men Think that you're "IT," But compared to a woman, You just ain't SHIT! A Giants fan in Baltimore A Giants fan is in Baltimore for the weekend and decides to stop in at a bar. He pulls up to the bar and waits for the bartender. The bartender and the other patrons ignore the fan. Finally, he speaks up. "Could I get a beer please?" "We don't serve Giants fans. This is a Ravens bar." "Look I just want one drink and then I'll leave." The bartender pours him a drink and gives him the third degree. "What are you doing in Baltimore?" "I'm here for a taxidermist conference." "What does a taxidermist do?" the bartender asked. "Oh, I mount animals." The bartender steps back, and then says, "Hey boys, don't worry about this one, he's one of us."

??? ^^^^

Parrot-Prostitutes A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and the only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" "That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!" Insult You're so short you're the last one to know when it rains Trade Talks One day as President Clinton was getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he had a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, salutes, and said: ''Nice cops, sir.'' The President replied, ''These are not cops, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got one for Chelsea.'' The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, ''Nice trade, sir''' Van Gogh's Relatives After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother: Please Gogh His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle: Can't Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stop'n Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white: Hue Gogh The cousin in Illinois: Chica Gogh His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh His Italian uncle: Day Gogh His Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half-brother: Grin Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt: Tan Gogh A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh The bird lover uncle: Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh His niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh.

Translating Male Phrases "I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." "It's a guy thing." Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I help with dinner?" Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?" "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "It would take too long to explain." Really means... "I have no idea how it works." "I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead." "We're going to be late." Really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "That's interesting, dear." Really means... "Are you still talking?" "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means... "I forgot our anniversary again." "That's women's work." Really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless." "You know how bad my memory is." Really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means... "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." "I do help around the house." Really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket." "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon." "I can't find it." Really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "What did I do this time?" Really means... "What did you catch me doing?" "I heard you." Really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next days yelling at me." "You look terrific." Really means... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving." "I missed you." Really means... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper." "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means... "I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again." "I don't need to read the instructions." Really means... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help." Kid and Animals There was this teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals, she showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was. Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue, ''It has a long neck.'' One kid answered, "Giraffe!" Pleased, the teacher showed a picture of a zebra. Nobody answered it again, so she gave them a clue. ''This animal has stripes.'' "Zebra!" one kid answered. So she put up another one, that of a deer. The teacher could not think of a clue..but suddenly she came up with one!..she asked them ''what does your mother call your father?'' Suddenly one child got up and answered ''HORNY BASTARD!''

Heaven's New Policy It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died." "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died." "No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly." The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter. A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...." Pre-Paid Plan A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings! She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!" The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."

what we all do with Why don't witches wear panties? Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip on the broom. Hole in One There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise. The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !" They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?" Picture perfect A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ." The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your p*nis and enlarge it." A little boy wrote to Santa ... One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." The First Lady's patriotic duties What do George Bush's wife and the American flag have in common? They both go down in the name of the president. Mmm...Smells Good What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they cant eat it!!

Kids' Advice to Kids When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer. - Hannah, age 9 Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, age 14 Stay away from prunes. - Randy, age 9 Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, age 13 Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, age 13 Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, age 10 When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, age 11 Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, age 14 Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers. - Mitchell, age 12 A puppy always has bad breath - even after eating a Tic-Tac. - Andrew, age 9 Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, age 9 You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, age 9 Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, age 11 If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, age 15 Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, age 9 Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, age 10 When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, age 13 Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, age 8 Girls Night Out Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the ****tails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!' Gourmet Bargains (True) I was browsing for Japanese kanji symbols, and the site I went to was sponsored by those ads that try to take advantage of what they think you might also be interested in; one ad by eBay said: "Japanese Sushi Sale, New and used Japanese Sushi. Check out the deals now! eBay.com" I'll pass. A joke told to me by one of the staff at church on Sunday: The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little disapointed with the dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it. For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and vestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation was horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was horrified! Then came the children's lesson. For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table. The congregation was mortified! He sat there swinging his legs against the table as the children gathered around him. The congregation were totally beside themselves! He asked the children, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?" There was total silence. He asked again, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?" Total silence. Eventually, one timid youngster put up his hand and said, "Please, Sir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."

i saw a white r33 which liz spotted & pointed out 2 me

saw a black r34 on brisbane rd after mass, porb. inhevn a grey r32 on old rd. another 1 as well though it could have been the same 1. & a grey r31 on old northern rd heading towards towers

whatever the reason i need 2 find a new way of going on this cruise now

ACTUAL X-RAY OF NAIL GUN ACCIDENT

HAPPY BEAR TRUTHFUL SCALE STARTING OFF EARLY PART II WHAT IS THAT SMELL STREET SIGNS HEAD ON FIRE

silver u weirdo

PART II OF NOT QUICK BRAKES SURF AND TURF ANOTHER PAINTED ON SHIRT CELL PHONES CONFUSED TEAMMATE

ANOTHER PAINTED ON SHIRT NO PEEING IN THE HOUSE ANOTHER PAINTED ON SHIRT HUGE BOULDER FALLS DOWN HILL TOPLESS PAINTED ON SHIRTS RIVING DISTRACTIONS HEAVY LOAD

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT CAUGHT PAINTED ON SHITS NOT A HAPPY CAMPER CLOSE CALL