GTRSRULE!!!

Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck they strike up a conversation. The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E you know....Young, urban, professional, peacefull, intelligent, ecologist." The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know...Double Income, No kids, Yet!" The third guy says. "I'm a R.U.B, you know....Rich, Urban , Biker." They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?" She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know....Wash, Iron, ****, Etc.."

A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over. The policeman walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why? Was I weaving all over the road?" "No," replied, the policeman, "you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totalling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grand-mother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily." The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He said, "But what about all of this money? How did you manage to save all this money?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."

****ing idiots go burn an old bombadore instead its sacralige to wreck a jdm car

ne1 have pics from autosalon sydney 2004 back in may.

source: http://www.fhm.com.au/reporter/jokes.html

Q: What's the definition of a Tasmanian virgin? A: A girl who can run faster than her brother. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A golden retriever IN THE WRONG HOLE A man dressed in shorts and long socks staggers into a hospital emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped very tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked the poor chap what had happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man, wincing with pain. "I was enjoying a quiet round of golf with my beloved wife, when she sliced her ball into a neighbouring pasture full of cows. We went over into the field to try to find it and while I was searching around, I noticed one of the cows had something white and round wedged fair between its buttocks. I walked over and lifted up the cow's tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball - stuck right between the cheeks, right in the middle of its bum hole. That's when I made my mistake." "What on Earth did you do?" asked the doctor, intrigued by what he was hearing. "Well, I proceeded to lift up the cow's tail and then I yelled loudly to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'" Gerrit Prent, Moonee Ponds, VIC :bahaha::bahaha:

i bloody missed the motor show auto salon sydney leg drag combat sydney leg and drag combat finals this year :boohoo: