race_snooze

A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near to Mt Isa. A few days after moving in the friendly Aussie neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region, so he goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day. The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum. The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says "Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about shit on you." The Chinese man is very taken back and says "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs." "What do you mean mate" says the Aussie, "Those aren't Australian customs." "Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me” replied the Chinese man," He say to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit"

I cant help these things!!! There is just something right about it!!!!! mmmmm next project s4/5 rx7 or RX2 coupe / 4 door with 13bbp turbo with T66 106 or just a bridge.... bloody house wish that was finished.

go HKS instead of GCG highflow same money better turbos!!!

YOU WILL LOVE THIS! This is good !!!! 36 have been accused of spousal abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time for assault 71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shoplifting 21 currently are defendants in lawsuits and 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year Can you guess which organization this is? AFL? NRL? Give up yet? . . .. Scroll down Neither, it's the 535 members of the AUSTRALIAN PARLIAMENT IN CANBERRA The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year,designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Dy- No- Mi -Te The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have.' He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.' He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have. The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.' He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He Catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was.' LIFE IS PRECIOUS, LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST, Live, Love, laugh!

ER6n or ER6f Kawka, VFR400 are good bikes and pretty sure they are L ready the CBR250s around canberra are over priced for their age and abuse, plus you will be bored in a week they are not that good if you ask me!!! AGV250 now thats some fun!! or you can go the trail / road choice for cheap!!! look at bike such as the wr250, (DT200 the 95 ones have a wr200 motorcross motor in them De-restricted they are fun and they are about 2g with top end already rebuilt.) KTM300, KTM525 not sure if that is L ready though bit much of a bike really to be riding on the road too, plenty of other trailbikes that would be great for road use

The three Dolls in a man's life are: 1........His Daughter, 'Baby doll' 2........His Girlfriend, 'Barbie doll' 3........His Wife, 'Panadol '.

THE HUMAN BODY You really ought to know this. The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were. -Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream. -The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm. -You use 200 muscles to take one step. -The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. -Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. -A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands. -A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball. -The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades. -The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. -It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. -The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds. -Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. -At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell. -There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. -Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. -The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body. -Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born. -When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate. -Your thumb is the same length of your nose. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well.

Its Gay hey no car!!! I think everyone here has been with out their cars for a long period of time at one stage or another, I know some that have had there off the road for 3 years or more only to bring it life for a week end die again.

and another for Prepsol here

^^^ had one of those for about a year or more was great took to Foster used no fuel and with little mods eg: suspension, extractors, pod went really well and holy crap they REV and REV

Not sure of the size of the tank it costs me about $75 to $85 to fill up, veri-sleep bah I hate that place!!!!! a

Hey Mick I ended up with a 2001 VU commonwhore ute great on fuel around town 500ks to a tank enough power for now!!! I am still thinking along the lines of a 4x4 ute or an r6 but house needs cash injection first.

Nah all good thanks Mick!! Shawn came and got it about an hour or so ago. I still have a stock dump if anyone wants it!!! 6 pack of beer and its anyones lol..

found it PM sent!

just having a look for it now!!! I know I have one just have to find it. I am in Belco by the way.

A married couple are lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife says, "Darling, as this is such a special occasion I think that it's time I made a confession .............. Before we were married, I was a hooker for eight years." The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says "My love, you've been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our se x life a bit!" She said, "I don't think you understand, my name was Brian and I played for Parramatta."

good luck with the sale mate!!

Yes they hire Jakes!! No street tunes, unless you want one.

How much are you willing to spend???? 3.1L stroker kit plus some big f**k off turbos I am sure it can be done!!! lol...

Just tell John what you want and he will do what he can!!!

^^^ hope that was not my old beast, wonder if hes smashed it yet or destroyed the front bar

CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE BUNNINGS WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!! SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.......... HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED. HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED? SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE. HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE? SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO.. DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!

> AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES > > 1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water > down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. > > 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone > else to hold them while you chop. > > 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by > using the sink. > > 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed > for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember > to use a timer. > > 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you > from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze > button. > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then > you'll be afraid to cough. > > 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it > doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, > use the duct tape. > > > 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > > Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR > ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE > STAIRS > > > If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the son of rajab appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water And that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The son of rajab dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires. [] 'Is this your thimble?' the son of rajab asked . The seamstress replied, 'No.' The son of rajab again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies. [] 'Is this your thimble?' the son of rajab asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.' The son of rajab reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. [] 'Is this your thimble ?' the son of rajab asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The son of rajab was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, And the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, And her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the son of rajab again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh son of rajab, my husband has fallen into the river!' [] The son of rajab went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the son of rajab asked. [] 'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The son of rajab was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my son of rajab. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. [] Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. son of rajab, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, So THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney. And so the son of rajab let her keep him. The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.