I start the car. Push the brake, shift to drive. Push the pedal. It goes forward slightly but then goes back to idle rpm. Flooring the pedal lets me get to ~1500rpm, maybe 2k if I trick it into it, but never move forward again.
Same happens for reverse. It even happens if I start it in neutral and just try to rev it, no increase in power.
This happened after I changed the oil. It's at dead center between H and L on the dip stick (the oil that came out exactly filled the jugs the new stuff came from). I also cleaned the air filter and topped off brake fluid.