what ive learnt in life is that you and your family come first, then its friend. sometimes its good to be selfish within reason. if ur friends are truly your friends then they would respect you all the more for that. your car is like ur sister/gf....you dont want any of your friends touching them:D:D but yeah id seriously question the loyalty of ur friend as to why he didnt tell u he lost his license, why he wanted to drive your car even though he knew he lost his license, and is he gonna take some responsibility for compensating you for car??
glad to hear everyones alright though. u should seriously get checked out cause my high-school mate was in an accident and he seemed fine but a day or so later died from a clot in the brain or something like that. better to be safe than sorry!!