pokie

waaaaaaaaaaah i'm so upset, i had to undo my button and zip on my jeans just to get them up not happy they were heaps loose on me b4 lol crappers

spotted a black R32 on Coventry Rd, i think it had an SAU sticker on it

yeah it does. but the decisions are ultimately up to me, i'm not with him, if i was then the decisions would be made together if he was the 1 having the kid then they would tell him the same thing they've told me

i spoke to a midwife today, told her about him wanting her to go and she told that i make all the decisions coz it's my body and i'm the 1 having it. they've reffered me to a social worker there and my doctor is reffering me to a psycologist (free thank god) and she put me back on meds. the doctor did my blood pressure, she was surprised that it was normal haha, but like i told her i'm only really angry when i told to him and after that i'm not so bad. she also asked me if i've been crying alot, told her i only had a bit of a cry the other night, but i've been wanting to cry so bad, i just don't want to coz if i start i won't stop haha ahh thank god for you people on SAU

i had the worst sleep last night anywayz thanks for reading my crap last night lol

lol may've been none of your buisness, but by posting it in a public forum i've made it every1's buisness haha, i don't care though coz well i need to get it out he actually needs a kick in the head. i could be wrong about him choosing her over the baby, but i'm just going with what i think and yeah that's what i think

coz obviously i was stupid. i do however think it's funny he thought he was leading me on the other reason i don't want her involved at all is coz she had an abortion last year sometime and i dunno i think she might try to take it make it yours if you know what i mean, i could just be really paranoid but it is a possibility and it does happen so hmm

no lol i've known the whole time, i hate that it's to him and he knows that

don't talk about food, i'm starving, i don't want to eat lol soooo sick of eating

yeah well if he decides that again then i won't say anything to him i'll walk away but his family would still want to be involved which is good i think we already talked about that except when if he has a partner after it's born. he said "what happens if i have a gf when it's born and she gets jealous coz i'm around you and the baby" i replied saying "they'll just have to get over it, and i hope your child is more important to you than some female" but um i don't wanna make him choose coz i know he'll choose her, he loves her and what not and well i'm just the baby carrier. just realised, i'm a friggin idiot for getting pregnant to him

i know, but he wants to be involved and i don't wanna stop him from being involved. believe me i would love to get rid of him, but the other part of me doesn't want to coz it is his child aswel and i can't stop him from wanting to be involved. BUT i can sure as hell stop her, and i shall

nah i couldn't do it, coz i know i would most likely regret it and i would definately be worse of emotionally and mentally. i would rather have it than kill it

he had a go at me for not taking any other "options" into consideration which he means abortion, but i can't friggin kill something inside me man this is so hard . i hate it but i'll live

oh man i'm so angry, i just spoke to the father to be, he's with his ex again now anywayz he said that for the ultrasound she'll probably be in the waiting room i told him i don't want her there at all, i don't want her involved with my child's life she's an alco and tries to overdose on pills. well yeah i'm probably being selfish but i have a right be i think.

well tonight has turned out to be interesting. i was watching the men's hockey bronze match (we won btw) and i heard 2 loud thumos. next thing my sister comes in and tells me some1 ran into the paddock across the road they took the fence out, hit a tree, and in his escape reversed into another fence then as he took off almost ran over my dad and brother. didn't have his headlights on , dad managed to get his number plate so hopefully the cops catch up with him. oh we also have the fire fighters out , coz there was heaps (of what we thought was) acid on the road, it smelt pretty bad, but yeah they said it was just water, luckily.

yahuh, taking ages to load for me also

my parents owe me $500 lol, i don't think i'll be seeing any of it anytime soon. i managed to convince my dad into letting me keep my car oh and best news ever, my motor doesn't have an oil leak wooo so i'm just gonna get that re-ringed, which my brother is gonna do for $100 so much better than paying god knows how much to get some1 else to do it.

spotted HOSTILE on Main North Rd at Munno Para

haha i got told about that story last night, i thought it was hilarious.

saw DRTY 2 parked in front of Cafe Primo at Munno Para this arvo and i saw BIT SUS tonight at a friends 21st OH and a black R33 at On The Run at Munno Para

well the R31 i went to look at was great except it has a cracked head

going to look at an R31 and it's on gas hehe wooo

i'll be in Melbourne damn it otherwise i would go

bye bye, don't forget the name tags lol

youse are wasting my download limit LOL but it is funny hehe