THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to
my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then
every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a
few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet
paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my
breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
"Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
"Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?
"He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.