Kero

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money: between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50 pence. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all". Murphy replied "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson whiskey. Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!" Murphy replied, with a smile "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o'this. I'm pissed and me knees are killin' me!" Murphy said "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub."

How to annoy your co-worker.. Post it notes ..

Merlin - The real sign.

Queen Elizabeth & Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so Peter must decide which of them gets in. The angel asks Dolly if there is some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top and says: "Look at these. They're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please Him to be able to see them every day for eternity." St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen drops her skirt and panties and takes a bottle of Perrier water out of her purse, shakes it up and douches with it. St. Peter says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in." Dolly is outraged. "What is that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She performs a rude act of hygiene and she gets in. Can you explain that to me?" "Sorry Dolly", says St. Peter, "but even in heaven, a royal flush beats two of a kind."

I forget what i use this finger for???

Learn Basic Chinese in 5 minutes...(You MUST read them out loud) That's not right ......................... Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive?............ Hu Yu Hai Ding See me ASAP............................... Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man ............................... Dum Fik Small Horse ............................. Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach? ............... Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table .... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni I think you need a face lift ............ Chin Tu Fat It's very dark in here ................... Wao So Dim I thought you were on a diet ............. Wai Yu Mun Ching? This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao? Staying out of sight .................... Lei Ying Lo He's cleaning his automobile ............ Wa Shing Ka Your body odor is offensive ............ Yu Stin Ki Pu Great .......................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

A message to SAU from the middle east

"Lets remove that white hair growing from his belly button"

A German Couple could not get Pregnant

How to tell your ass is too small

Day at the beach

Driving licence - can I see some photo ID???

Practical Pets

Tiger Ouch

The dangers of internet chatrooms

Nursing Home Orgy Warning: Could cause nightmares

Bus ad

This is a cracker, check it out!

Pen holder made in Iraq

Really bad breakups

Becks.. it did not take long..

Bed for sale Hi Friends, I am trying to sell my bed as I have upgraded to a more extravagant model last week.. The bed frame is 100% hand carved and imported from India. The mattress is high quality, but it is the frame that makes the bed. I haven't named a price, but if you are interested I can give you a price. Anyway I have attached a picture. It is of the highest quality as you will see. If you know of anyone who might be interested please forward this on.

Always read the fine print. A lesson for all of you!!!

Why men have two hands.., Why women have two hands

Only in Japan