If it has an LSD it needs an LSD additive in the diff oil. I'm pretty sure if it has HICAS it has an LSD.
I used the same weight in the front and rear diffs, think it was 75w90, and the same oil in the transfer case and trans. I believe you can use the same in the ATTESSA and power steering too (I never changed it).
I went 10w40 for the engine, but close enough. It's all close to personal preference.
Filter is the same as a 350Z... that's been covered many, many times.
Funnily enough, I called Valvoline's info line, and they had NM35 Stageas on file, knew all about them, and knew all about the different oils and fluids.
There is a thread which makes this clear, it's just the brand that varies. Valvoline and I think Nulon make a Matic J equivalent if you can't get the Nissan stuff. I paid about $120ish for a 20L drum.