WA_R32

no actually had a gf for 4 years (dont actually do any of the above(except for the could be better one))

Guide: How to keep a girlfriend.....keen 1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say 'could be better.' This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are). 3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up. 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If sheis, say 'you better be.' Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care. 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement. 6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies. 7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words '**** you' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition. 8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear '...because I can.' 9. Introduce her to your friends as 'some chick.' Women love those special nicknames. 10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD. 11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say 'if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye.' The best way to get warm is with fear. 12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night. 13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls? 14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball). 15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit. 16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be. 17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy. 18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say 'no, she's not hungry.' Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her. 19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy. 20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about). 21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say 'no, it's just the rain.' Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man. 22. Titty twisters and plenty of them. 23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious. 24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get. 25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but guys think it's funny. 26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't call

yeah thats true he isn't the brightest crayon in the box

i thought PAID2 was electronic and PAID was cash

happy birthday dan i hope your birthday cake is filled.. with me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN

that really sux mate do the people who did it know that you know it was them? if not...

thats alright ill just be wearing my mankini or balerina outfit everyone will be too busy checking me out and fapping to actually race

the hour after we have all finished

fkn lolz best post eva

our team will be just like mario kart as in Bowser and Toad ryan you and karl can be princess peach and yoshi

haha just got mental pic of mike bing attacked by a whole bunch of midgets naked green wang pump will not even stand a chance against team with benefits

you will be dreaming that your us when you see us on the podium at the end of the day

well if you can stay with the field for the start of the race i can take the lead at the end

dont think that you can as they are a different shape

just wait until we are on the track its all about power to weight ratios + less weight = better handling and acceleration dont deny the figures mike

sorry mike yeah us midgets are gonna kick some ass

eww never ask the guys at adult shop stories about people shopping there i used to work next door to the one in gosnells and the manager used to come in when something interesting had happened, he told me once that a guy came in asking if he had to clean his blow up doll, turns out he hadnt and it had gone all green

lolz at last posts im not bulimic anorexic get it right, hang on time for my daily tic-tac

more like the sausage between the buns

60kg here too so no chopage of me

hey Brad put me and bubba down or do you need a team name first

pm sent re-brakes

hey mate you dont have the front brakes still around do you?

haha ill be part of that club also and we wont stalk you we will lead you