you wont reach your goal with the standard ecu and a safc. best options would be nistune, vipec, power fc etc.
make sure when you make up your dump pipe you do it properly first time, i'm having to redo myne atm because its too restrictive.
if you want intank then a 023 is the intank equivalent of a 044. 040 doesnt flow as much
safety all depends on the tune, andy at hyperdrive tunes very conservatively, safer than most at the sacrifice of a few hp, if you have a boost controller then just let him set it to whatever ends up being safe, probably around 18psi
as for installing stuff, give it a go yourself, its not as hard as it looks and it saves you a hell of a lot of money. if you get stuck theres always plenty of help on here, just make sure you have another car to drive in the meantime
one other thing, make sure when you do get a turbo you get the right one, especially if its a gt30, lots of mismatched ones out there. theres plenty of info on here about which ones to get and which to stay away from