what about this
ADOPT AN AL-QAEDA CELL
They're armed, trained, fanatical, and they're sitting around not doing anything anyway. Plus, they're not too bright -- just tack "Allah wants you to..." onto any command and off they go!
Price: Negotiable (food, clothes, a place to sleep)
*Customers still seeking refunds on our "Adopt a PLO Cell" offer should just give up.