Well, I went to the cop shop to report the crash, and the cop said "well I'm going to fine her for driving without due care and reversing without due care. Since she's not here, I'll have the fine mailed out to her."
Then he said she'll also get charged since she didn't bother reporting the crash. I reported it an hour after (so, 9pm) and he said if she didn't report it by 9am today, she'd get charged since it's a criminal offence to not report a crash even if the other person has already reported it.
I've never heard of "reversing without due care" but apparently it exists? And he said he'd give her another fine for something else, but couldn't because she wasn't present.
Basically I was behind her, she stopped and started reversing full-speed into my car (she didn't even look behind her). Then she laughed and drove off after embedding her towbar in my front bar! Then when I parked my car and got out, she said she had hit a gutter! I'm like "come take a f**king look at my car then" and she laughed again and said "oh well, these things happen".
Eh... they're not meant to.