It's not the way of the internet at all. If it's not safe, simply don't do it...or be prepared to lose your cash. Like I said it is this complacency that makes this place such an easy target for scammers.
I've never had those issues with paypal. I've given them records of PM conversation and they've asked sellers for postage tracking numbers and I've been able to resolve every case I've ever opened. PayPal is usually enough to scare away most scammers. In any case, it affords you that extra protection over and above a bank deposit. You can also make the seller put up an eBay listing so you can see their feedback...I don't know of anyone who doesn't have access to an eBay account these days.
Fake items might be hard to prove, but that can happen in real life transactions too. This is about the goods never turning up at all. Just because transferring money blindly to someone online may be the only way to buy something off someone, does not mean you should necessarily buy it. People get so desperate for the parts they are chasing, that when they spot a good deal, they put on blinders to how dangerous what they are doing is and sometimes end up still without the part and minus a lot of money.
It really is the internet equivalent of some random guy in a carpark offering you electrical goods and you giving him your cash and saying can you come back next week with the goods. How often do you think that guy is gonna turn up?
Have some patience and take some precautions people - in 90% of scamming cases I see on here, both of these are missing from the buyer.