Lol.
Anyway Sam, the holes aren't drilled right through, they go down to a slot which has to be machined in on a lathe, at the height of the lower compressor blades. Perhaps Hypergear could get the slot and holes machined for you? Or can you use a gt35 front and bore it out? I've got a chinese .7 surge ported one here you can buy cheap.
What it will do for performance is anyones guess, do you have surge at the moment you're trying to get rid of or is it purely for the noise? Perhaps a folded gum leaf in front of the compressor would work well?