Condolences to you, and your family B1.
I lost my dad (43) to cancer in 1993. I was only 13 and at the time and felt that I had nothing to live for. His death had a hugh impact on my life. All up I missed 3 years of school and basically had no contact with the outside world for many years. I'm a stronger person now because of whats happened and theres not a day that goes by that I dont think of him.
Try and be strong. But let your emmotions out or they will catchup to you.