Update for those interested. The US place with the seals isn't communicating by email and the phone isn't working. Tomei paste turned out to be just moly.
Took oem seals out - those that didn't fall out once the nuts on the end of the shaft were removed. Seals were in pretty poor shape and well pushed out note they are 2.7mm thick so not much room to move anyway. Found some double lip seals OS 10173 that are similar to the oem ones but about 1mm smaller OD. They look like the ones the evo boys use to correct the issues they have with boost leaks.
Pulled out the oem bearing retainers and replaced them with some new ones to suit the new seals, but with a small retaining lip. All bottoned up again and it runs fine. Recommend anyone who has their tb's off look at doing this, just check out the state of the oem seals and how far they are pushed out particularly if you're running higher boost. I upped mine to only 18 psi and they got bent out of shape.