Thanks guys. I'm all up for finding these little sh*ts, taking them to the woods, and leaving them there. Nobody f*cks with a Lada.
I live in a dead-end street, but there's a walkway that joins up the SYE Tennis club and Hawksburn Rd. This is where they are coming from. I'd love to take them home to 'mummy and daddy' and explain what their little angels have been up to - whilst mentioning that 'his face was like that when I found him, must have walked into a spade or something'.
Cops were sympathetic but agree they are unable to do anything about it. Will keep an eye out in the pawn shops on Chapel for the CB. More annoyed about the damage to the car though - new console, dash panel, roof, kick panel - little f*cks.
Looking to move house anyway - just going to expeadiate the process.