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Here is a transcript from the current Speed Magazine (issue 0:07). I found it absolutely hilarious. They are all real names given to actual production models in Japan.

DAIHATSU

Rugged Field Sports Resin Top (1997 model): What, did they give these away on Survivor Africa or something?

D-Bag: Could stand for Douche-Bag or Dime-Bag, or something else far less appealing than a tea bag.

Town Cube (an esky on wheels): A people mover and Rubik’s puzzle all wrapped up in one.

HONDA

Acty Crawler (a six wheel truck with tank-like treads: It'll clean your swimming pool in three hours all by itself.

Joy-Machine: Sex on wheels. Available in five-speed manual, four-speed auto and three-speed vibrate.

ISUZU

Big horn (1993 4WD): Either a tribute to jazz great Miles Davis or porn legend John Holmes. We're not sure.

Mysterious Utility Wizard (Current short-wheelbase Rodeo 4WD): Gandalf's transport in the upcoming film son of rajab of the Circle Work.

Giga 20 Light Dump: Standard specs include vanity mirrors, four cup holders and a toilet paper dispenser.

MITUBISHI

Pajero: What's weird about that? It translates directly to "mastabator" in Spanish.

Canter Guts (current Canter truck): The toughest ride for the blue singlet set. Imagine the tradie TV ads for this one.

Aero Queen (1990s tour coach): The bus of choise for those priscilla desert road trips - or Bronski Beat tours.

Delica Space Gear Cruising Active (1990s 4WD van): The hippie Kombi of the '90s. Availale in tie-dye. Frequently seen in the car park at Gratefull Dead concerts.

MUM 500 Shall We Join Us? (1993 micro car - and yes, the question is part of the name): Sounds like a dinning table on wheels with an optional dishwasher.

Mini Active Urban Sandal: Also comes in Ugh boot and Thong spec.

Liberto RVR Super Wild Gear: Redefines the term "dealer special". Usually seen parked next to tie-dyed Delica Space Gear Cruising Actives at Gratefull Dead concerts.

MAZDA

Carol (1962 KEI micro car): "On the first day of Cristmas my Mazda gave to me..."

Autozam Carol (1989 model based on the Suzuki Alto): "Autozam the red-nosed reindeer..."

Luce (1974 Japan-only RX-4): Pronounced "loose". Costs $100 for half and hour, or $150 for the full hour.

Luce Regard (1978 Crown-style model): "What's that you're driving tonight buddy?" "My sisters Luce." "So, the rumours are true!"

Bongo Brawny (current commercial van): It's named after a croc wrestler from the Northern Teritory, Bob Marley's old drummer or a new character on Bob the Builder - we're not exactly sure.

LaPuta (current KEI-class micro car): The shit. And you can take that whichever way you like.

NISSAN

Cedric 300LV VIP (current luxury sedan): Comes with a sherry dispenser for those long trips to the opera.

Gloria GranTurismo 300 Ultima-Z (current luxury sedan): The choice of hairdressers throughout Japan.

Leopard J Ferie: The drummer from Leopard Ferie's only got one arm!

Prairie Joy (curent people mover): Heart-warmingly bland van adored by Yanks named Billy Jo Jim Bob, Sue Ellen, etc.

Big Thumb Harmonized Truck (current semitrailer): The new album from Silverchair.

SUBARU

Justy (current Swift GTi look-alike): Rusty, Busty and Dusty lost out after poor feedback during market research.

Gravel Express (Japanese limited-edition WRX wagon): The hip new rally ****tail made from sake, vodka and soil.

SUZUKI

Alto Afternoon Tea (KEI-class micro car): Replaces the short-lived Alto Smoko.

Van Van (not a van at all, but a 1970 125cc motorbike): What what? Go figure figure.

Every Joy Pop Turbo: Named after an unreleased Spandau Ballet album.

TOYOTA

Synus: Sniff! Well, it sure beats Syphilis as a name.

Estima Lucida G Luxury Joyful Canopy: Shorter than Mitsubishi Ralliart Lancer Evolution VI Tommi Makinen Limited Edition, yet much dumber.

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