Have A Laugh!

[madmurf]

Vital info for upcoming World Cup.

The offside rule explained (for girls).

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been

thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

[PHATR32]

A bear and a rabbit were chucking a shit in the forest.

The bear turns to the rabbit and asks "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says "No, why do you ask?"

The bear then grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.....

[Pulp]

Vital info for upcoming World Cup.

The offside rule explained (for girls).

HAHA good one! I must remember that one when I explain to a girl next time!

[Batski]

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

[ossie_21]

<stretches>

Gary Glitter & Michael Jackson are sitting on a park bench when a 8 year old girl walks past with her family. Gary leans over to Michael & says, "Shit, she must have been good back in her day yeah?"

<legs it>

[Batski]

A woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom

floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over,

did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Jacko.

"Jacko! Jacko!" she yelled.

Jacko came running in.

"Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said.

"Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull her up.

"You're just too heavy girl. I'll go across the road and get Bluey"(his

mate).

They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way. We can't do it" Bluey said "Lets try Plan C"

"Plan C?" exclaimed Jacko. "What's that"?

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles

under her"

"Spot on" Jacko said. "While your doing that, I'll stay here and play

with her t!ts"

"Play with her t!ts"? Bluey said, "Why the hell would you want to do

that"?

Jacko replied "Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide

her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive"