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remind me to laugh repeatedly at him if i ever see him :laugh:

where did you find that karen? also, where does he live?

Edited by lilmike86
Got the Cressidaghini sideways on the way to work this morning. It was fully sick, and I believe it may have also been hectik. Bro.

:laugh:

was there limiter action? pleas tell me there was limiter action!!!:laugh:

on that topic, i was amazed last night, a blue excel coupe, cover3ed in decals, had a bonnet scoop, and HUGE universal WING, pulled up next to me and started rev up, the driver was waving his arm so i wound down the window, and he asks me, wanna race.

I laughed and said you kidding right, and the guy slams his foot down and slowly (but so so loud) drives away.

honestly, why do these wankers think so highly of there sh1t cars.

p.s if anyone here owns that corolla that tail gated me from boondal to the city, ur a wanker.

SK Warne Match Report 2nd Ashes Test

Day 5 of the second test. We're 1 nil up and If I was playing for

England today I would be thinking... slow and steady lads, slow and

teady. But I'm not thank god and his son Jesus Christ, I'm

Australian, and I've woken up with a horn that a dog couldn't chew,

and I'm not sure if it's because I can't wait to get that cherry in

my hand and get stuck into the soap dodgers... or if it hasn't gone

down since phone sex with Rianna Ponting last night. Anyway, no one

in my room to stick it in, no time to get on the text messages, so

I best jump in the David Gower and work up a nice lather and give

the cleaner some work to do on the tiles.

Hot breakfast this morning, quite by accident. Put the lit end of

the ciggie into my gob while changing hands to down an Iced Coffee.

Pup Clarke thought it was a hell of a joke until I told him I used

his poofy white skivvy to mop up after a phone conversation with

his sister last night.

All the boys are full of beans this morning though at breaky.

Pigeon was telling everyone the odds he'd got for us to win this

morning, and how he's whacked all the money he won on McGilla not

being selected, straight on us. Prick could have shared his bookie

with me, I happen to think we'll get up today too. Particularly

with the team they've got on the park. Giles couldn't turn a steak

into sh*t. Jones couldn't keep a farking secret, or buy a run.

"Bell end" wouldn't know what I was chucking at him, in fact Kay

Pee and that bloke with the stupid name that doesn't usually get a

game are there only hope.

Arrive at the ground and while the rest of them are keen to get

into the nets for a warm up, I've got plans to test out the

Adelaide sewage system by sending one of the biggest turd Adelaide

has ever seen into it. I'm only 15 minutes into this fine little

session, not even up the centrefold spread yet, when I hear a

muffled voice talking about the history of test cricket and how if

you look back, the chances of Australia getting a win are so remote

it's not worth considering, and how England just need to go steady,

nothing silly needs to be done, a draw here will do just fine with

3 tests still to go, maybe we can wear down an ageing aussie

side... then, along with that monster turd I was talking about, the

penny has dropped... I'm in the wrong farking change room, and I'm

listening to Freddy Flintstone give his pre match "inspiring"

speech.... note to self, NEVER complain about punters speeches

again.

So with the knowledge that we now had the game in the bag, out we

trot to the centre. I've grabbed the new ball and told punter I'll

sort this lot out.. punters told me to pull my stupid head in and

wait till I'm told.... this is what happens when you give a short

man from Tasmania a bit of authority, he tries to make you pay for

all the inbreeding jokes ever created. Still, I'll bide my time,

we've got all day. 10 minutes into session 1 and punter can't even

look at me when he throws me the rock... of course I let him know

he's made the first good call for the game, and I've asked him to

trot down to fine leg please.. even he laughed at that one while

jogging to first slip. An hour or so later and I'm well on the way

to completely stripping any sense of pride the unwashed have built

in the past 4 days. Strauss was easy, nice catch by Mr. Cricket by

the way, this bloke is so good to me, and the team for that matter,

I almost feel guilty about pegging his new girlfriend. Bell "end"

run out by me, even when getting run out this poor bastard has my

name next to his in the wicket column.... Kay Pee, I enjoyed this

one, certainly wiped the stupid smile from his south african

dial.....Giles, from one spinner to one that isn't, this was a

forgettable one..... and then Hoggard, felt sorry for this poor

prick, I've never seen anyone this ugly before, I can see why he

grows that hair.

So that's that... we had 168 to knock off in the final session,

which was always going to happen. 2-0 to us, punter named man of

the match, but we all know I deserved it.

Beers will flow in our rooms, tears will flow in theirs. The Ashes

are back, and thank god they didn't have them for long enough for

anyone to realise!

Love to your missus

SK Warne.

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