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yep but i left it at home

it`ll be in tomorrows internal post

if i'm able to get out of tonights plans, i`ll call u and bring it down

sick :(

dont lie andy, u werent painting ur callipers, u were sniffing the paint can, bringing out the black man in you :down:

WHY YOU HAVE TO THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK -

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked

loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned

around and walked back out and never went back.

My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of

golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the

store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and

said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety

of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind

the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some

pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after

receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her

that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my

horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you

kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening

exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my

dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard as

the door closed behind me,

were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many

times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty

training

and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands It was

very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled

something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she

was clean.

Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in

a while.

I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking "Oh son of rajab, that child has had an

accident,

and I don't have any clean clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an

accident?"

"N o," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting

worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This

time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and

yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos

laughing,

he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me feel

better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for

2 days

and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely

think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't get

any?

We had a female news anchor who,

the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,

turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last

night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were

laughing so hard!

sick :(

dont lie andy, u werent painting ur callipers, u were sniffing the paint can, bringing out the black man in you :down:

I dont know how they do it..all I got was sick

found this to be easier to do as well.....

u keeping 'nissan' white or same colour as the calipers?

white

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