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An Irishman, Australian and American were having a few pints together when the American raises the subject of unfaithfulness.

"I think my wife is having an affair with a baseball player, I found a baseball glove under the bed this morning."

"Funny you should say that" said the Australian " I'm sure my missus is having an affair with a cricketer, I found a cricket bat under the bed yesterday."

"You're not going to believe this" replied the Irishman sincerely " My lady is having an affair with a horse. The other day I found a jockey under the bed."

The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."

Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a hint of a smile.

"Yes," replied the girl, "much better."

"Very good, darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind as to please pass the c**t."

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