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CHINESE SICK LEAVE

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss, I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach-ache and my legs hurt, I no come to work."

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........You got nice house!"

Two peanuts walk into a bar - One was asalted.

A sandwich walks into a bar - The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here"

A jumper cable walking into a bar - The barman says "Look I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

A truckie walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says - "A beer please...and one for the road"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...(HAHA oh I love that)

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married - The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great!

I went to the seafood disco rave last week and pulled a mussel.

I opened a pack of Snakes Alive and they were all dead!

I found a Tic Tac in the gutter once, it was in mint condition.

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