The Tokyo Mannequin Rapist

[akeenan]

The latest victim of the 'Mannequin Rapist' was found early this morning by Tokyo store manager Ryatoro Matsuyama.

The mannequin, was discovered half undressed, face down, on the floor of the Hardware department, on the sixth floor. The enterprise of her attacker was not lost on Mr Matsuyama, who told reporters: "As the elevators were switched off for maintenance over the weekend, the rapist must have dragged her up twelve flights of stairs from the Lingerie department on the Ground Floor. Frankly, I'm surprised he had the energy to mount her, much less modify her."

"Modify her?" we asked.

"Er...he'd drilled a large hole between her legs with an electric drill."

'Cassandra,' as she is known to her many admirers in the store, is the fifth victim in the rapist’s four-week sex spree. The only evidence left at the scene were a heavily soiled pair of grey boxers and a used condom. When we expressed surprise at the use of a contraceptive on an inanimate dummy the store manager's jaw dropped with a strangled gasp. "Where have you been? Tokyo isn't Los Angeles you know. We take safe sex seriously here. .

The attacks began three months ago after local retailers noticed a customer blatantly groping semi-naked mannequins at several fashionable shops in Ginza shopping district.

On each occasion the man escaped before he could be apprehended. Although there is no doubt that dropping your trousers and rubbing your willy against a plastic woman, is sexually inappropriate, it remains unclear whether or not it can be classified as rape. Two of the rapist’s previous victims have described their attacker as a man in his middle 30s with a receding hairline and an extremely small penis. Unfortunately, since their description applies to almost every thirty-something man in Tokyo, the perpetrator has not yet been caught. However, the DNA collected at the scene of his most recent victim is being tested and may lead to the identification of a man in his middle thirties with a receding hairline and an extremely small penis.

The hunt for the elusive rapist threatens to strip the crotchless panties from the debate on rape raging in bars up and down the country and expose the festering yeast infection of Japan's sexual hypocrisy. Some consider the Mannequin Rapist an innocent victim of modern sexual marketing which has swept demure, fully clothed store dummies out of shop windows and replaced them with anorexic, thirteen-year-old nymphets flaunting postage stamp sized thongs and see-thru bras. Others insist that he’s mentally ill and could be reintegrated into decent society—.

“Those plastic lolitas are gagging for it," the 52-year-old misogynist opined with a suggestive leer at his scantily-clad companion. ‘I've seen the way they dress, flaunting themselves in public with their provocative poses and skimpy outfits. Some of those mini skirts don't even cover their arses and the dummies in shop windows are even worse!" He talked fast, his voice slurred with drink, or possibly the prospect of getting into his companion's tracksuit bottoms. "It’s disgusting how these filthy broad minded persons show their pert nipples through the thin, clinging fabric of them skimpy tops they’re whoring,” he added as he massaged the rising bulge in his trousers. “One little tart wasn’t even wearing any knickers!”

His attitude is symptomatic of the confusion which surrounds contemporary female sexuality which has blurred the line between plastic dummies and women who strive to look like them. But no matter how much plastic women are made of, can skimpy clothing, or the lack of it, ever justify rape? Women may answer in the negative, but the correlation between the number of mannequin rapes and how few clothes they were wearing when they were attacked, suggests that the bloke in the High Street considers anything in a short skirt who can't or won't say no, fair game. According to police records, a mannequin is 600 times more likely to be assaulted if she models lingerie than if she is working for a DIY store.

“Would you ever consider sexually assaulting a store dummy?” we asked a Japanese man.

“No Way! If I sat on their faces I’d crush their pretty little heads.”

Two other ladies, carrying a few extra YEN along with their shopping, were equally scathing in their condemnation of the morality of plastic women. “I’m not jealous or anything,” said Tomomi Hirai (38), “But have you noticed how tiny their waists and bottoms are?” Her sixteen-year-old daughter, whose naked, bulging belly testified to her fondness for pizza and chips, agreed, adding, “The rapist is a sad sicko—no doubt about that. But can you really blame him for not being able to control himself around some of those mannequins? .

“How about male mannequins?” we asked.

“Oh, they’re so dishy,” they chortled in unison, suggesting that the double standards in our society that label sexually aggressive women as broad minded persons and their male counterparts, as studs, have not been lost on the mannequin community.

“So why aren’t randy women running around raping male mannequins?” we asked.

“Because it would interfere with shopping,” snapped the mother.

[Beer Baron]

i'm not expert buy i'm 90% sure it's a joke...

[Guest Mashrock]

i'm not expert buy i'm 90% sure it's a joke...

Hahaha still funny tho and i only read the first few paragraphs!

[Rezz]

Smells like f*ckedgaijin...

[Gameboy]

rofl wtf ?

I thought it was some dude pretending to be a mannequin then raping real woman when i read the thread title.