Meet The Parents

[niscort]

Righto...

Time is drawing nearer, nerves are growing day by day... and as far as I can tell/heard, i have a need to be nervous.

As this is the first time meeting the parents after a 2+ year relationship... its pretty much a prospective marraige introduction.

So... Im after some serious pointers for the right things to do. I spent approx a total of 5 years in Japan, so Im up on the general day to day customs and what not, but I know this is a very important meeting as the family are quite traditional and this is their eldest, daughter.

Imput appreciated

cheeRS

[m3gtr]

You will have an interview...

With the whole family.

And you will be nervous.

You will sweat.

...Good luck and may God be with you.

[akeenan]

is she currently with you in oz? if so it might be a lot easier than you think. My first japanese exs parents had a lot of respect and thanks for me as i looked after her in OZ.

take presents

wear something nice, be yourself

find out if her dad is a drinker, if so find out what he likes and take it over, sit down with him and drink during dinner, then continue on after dinner.

does he / they speak English? is your Japanese any good? If so use it. theres nothing worse than needing to rely on your g/f to translate everything the whole night and have them speaking to her, asking her to tell you what they said, when they should be speaking to you

oh and as its the first meeting. I would not bring anything up with her father about marriage. Id give it at least a couple of meetings. Most japanese fathers arent so willing to let their pride and joy dissappear with some strange foreigner after one meeting.

I honestly feel that people in these situations feel its going to be a lot harder than it really is.

good luck

[carizma]

I've been married for 7 years to a Japanese lady, and can tell you the best approach is to just be polite. To a Japanese person, we'll never be Japanese, so don't bother trying, just be a polite Westerner. Last of all, make sure you get the alcohol flowing as fast as possible, and keep the father's sake cup always full.

Jon @ Carizma

[Laurence]

I met my gf's parent recently, father got drunk, all was well...

To a Japanese person, we'll never be Japanese, so don't bother trying, just be a polite Westerner.

Yes... definitely true, actually in every aspect of life in Japan. I grab the knife and fork whenever possible!

[Rezz]

father got drunk, all was well...

I see he couldn't stand you either...

[carizma]

I met my gf's parent recently, father got drunk, all was well...

Yes... definitely true, actually in every aspect of life in Japan. I grab the knife and fork whenever possible!

Dude the first few years I spent in Japan I tried to immerse myself in Japanese culture leaning all the Japanese etiquette only to realize that it does not many any difference.

I find now that from the time I get off the plane in Japan I tend so speak Japanese in a western way, ie very direct. I know Japanese don’t like it but hey if they treat you like a Gaijin (foreigner) I will be a gaijin...

[DAS KAMU]

I hope there not as hard ass as parents from Taiwan......

parents straight up gangstas....would not talk to me till they realised i was not a totaly law abiding citizen

fun times ....fun times....still scared