Can I Help You?

[RubyRS4]

This thread is for the discussion of funny moments where you've had to assist a breakdown or similar, only to find a funny outcome. Or if you've been in a funny breakdown moment yourself where the only repair required was commonsense.

For instance ...

One time I was watching two guys on my street trying to push a car off a car trailer. They'd taken the car out of gear, handbrake off, and it still wouldn't budge. They had it jacked up at the tow bar to incline the trailer, still wouldn't move.

I could not bear to watch them any further, so I walked over and unhitched the car from the cable. Suddenly the job was easier.

Another one, years ago, I was at a party and a female friend comes in complaining her battery was flat because her car wouldn't start. Punchline was that she had the car in "drive" whilst trying to start it.

Anyone else wasted their time helping out a stranded driver?

[Daleo]

TOTALLY forgot about this one, and it's even Stag related!

The day I picked up my nm35, the first place I went was a servo, filled up, then went to drive away, car wouldn't come out of park! Tried everything, on, then off, etc, minutes tick by, put my foot on the brake, out it comes!

What a dumbass , still, there's no point doing stupid stuff unless you tell someone...

[inmate]

Had one recently.

Running low on fuel I parked on a sloped bit of road. Turbo timer running I went inside for a few minutes.

Come out and car wont start. Get a bit of fuel (approx 1 litre) car still wont start. Take fuel line off throttlebody, turn ignition on and no fuel pumping.

So I assume fuel pump has burnt out due to turbo timer being on and sucking dry.

Pay to have car towed home & ring around for a fuel pump. Decide to go buy a $1500 run about LUCKILY it was a piece of shit and I didn't get it.

On the way home from inspecting the POS it occurs to me that I should try to start the car now its on level ground & I am confident thats what the prob was.

Of course it kicks over 1st kick. SPEWINGGGGGG BUT HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME...

[kidafa]

funny you bring this up now.... chefstagea and i were driving around yesterday and saw a middle aged women starting to change a flat... We thought it would be fun to offer and do the swap in prob 3 or 4 minutes for her.... But no she didnt want any help because she didnt want to jack the car without chocking one of the wheels and she didnt have a chock and had allready called the raa. Informed her that it was necessary but she still didnt want a bar of it.... Probably thought we didnt know what we were on about.

Should have shown her the cuts and shit on my hands from doing turbo gaskets 2 nights ago, cos changing a wheels so much harder ehhh.

[GoldZilla]

What a dumbass , still, there's no point doing stupid stuff unless you tell someone...

Hahaha, so true - and it's also true that you can't laugh at someone else unless you can laugh at yourself!

My old man used to do a fair bit of mechanic work for friends, etc. Once, a friend of his complained that no matter how many wheel alignments he'd had done on his car, after a few days it would always pull to one side again. Dad drove the car home, jacked it up, checked all the suspension and steering arms to make sure nothing was bent, and took it to have another alignment done by a mob he always bought his tyres from, etc. Dad then drove the car and it was all good, so we took it back to the owner, and when we got there we asked him where he'd like it parked. He lived in a small batch of townhouses with single garages and sloping gutters. He owned another car, so the garage spot was taken, so he parked the car half-on and half-off the service road in front of his house. Now, because he ALWAYS reversed into that spot and the two left wheels were ALWAYS up on the grass, one side was always being exposed to forces that threw the steering out...

I'm not sure if my old man ever mentioned anything to him (or if he realised at the time why this was happening), but as I watched this guy reverse the car back, I thought to myself "You clown..." I wasn't even old enough to drive at the time, and even I understood the concept of why the wheel alignment was always being whacked out.

[seanp351]

Had a call from a mate "can you come around and help with my brakes" turned up and he had been going at the rear drums on his ute for an hour with every type of hammer or anything he could hit the drums with "these bloody drums won't come off they must be seized' he says so I reached into the car and took the handbrake off, bang both drums fell onto the floor,he felt like a total tool and still had to pay me the six pack he had promissed.lol lots!

[stagmeister]

he felt like a total tool and still had to pay me the six pack he had promissed.lol lots!

Nice.

[lachlanw]

i was not involved but lots of close mates were . trying to push start a nz new 2.2 gx legacy . theyd push and it wouldnt move . "let the brakes off you tard" . "they are off" "are f in not "so driver would get out and could push car single handledly . get back in . they to push it . wont move . took like 20 minutes to figure out that it is the hill holder . if you touch the brakes then put the clitch in it holds the brakes untill the clutch is half out so you can do hill starts really easily .

chick i knew with odd sized wheels on the front of a shit box blue bird . "dont go too far on those tires it will shag the diff" "my cars front wheel drive , it doesnt have a diff"

and countless times i have seen snow chains on the back wheels of hondas . "oi put them on the front wheels " . " why ? you put yours on the back "

[Duncan]

lol autos in park.....

many years ago (OK my first car) I had an auto corolla that had a dodgy solenoid on the starter motor. for years every time the solenoid failed we would just short it to the main starter power with a big screwdriver and the car would start.

so....one time it happened, I grabbed the screwdriver, stood in front of the car and shorted the starter - but this time the car was not starting because it was in gear (safety cut out) which I bypassed by shorting the starter. Sure enough the car started, and lurched forward into the idiot standing in front of it with a big screwdriver (ie me)

[66yostagea]

TOTALLY forgot about this one, and it's even Stag related!

The day I picked up my nm35, the first place I went was a servo, filled up, then went to drive away, car wouldn't come out of park! Tried everything, on, then off, etc, minutes tick by, put my foot on the brake, out it comes!

What a dumbass , still, there's no point doing stupid stuff unless you tell someone...

Me too. That makes two dumbasses. But even before that I couldn't find the hand brake. Had to ask the compliancer.

[QWK32]

this lady pulled up at work and we were watching her stuffing around in her car for about 10 minutes. finally she saw us watching her and come up to the boss and I and said that for some reason she couldn't get her keys out of the ignition. we went up to the car, put the auto in park and pulled the keys out lol

ps. this one also got me when i first got me stagea lol (first auto i'd ever owned or even really driven)

[rb30dett]

My friends sister filled her pulsar up with oil (right up to the top 12 ltrs) lol

Chick walks into servo asking for some 7-10 the attendant has no idea what she wants. After checking the shelves he asks her to show him where it is put into the car? she points to the oil cap on top of the motor which is upside down

[Daleo]

Me too. That makes two dumbasses. But even before that I couldn't find the hand brake. Had to ask the compliancer.

I feel so much better now

[iamhe77]

Fuel flap.

When I picked up my Stag (had no fuel), I looked for the fuel flap release button.

Couldn't find it, nor could my mate.

Tried to open it my pushing the left side of it, but to no avail.

Had myself, my mate and a dude looking for a way to open the fuel flap at the servo.

Finally gave up, called Ben @ Northshore who proceeded to tell me (in between laughs) that all I had to do was push it on the side.

I sheepishly went back to the car and pushed the RIGHT side of the fuel cap which opened effortlessly

Nothing like having a heap of people looking at your unique (at the time) car while you struggle to open the fuel flap!

[zei20l]

yeah been there done that mate it catches a lot of us i think lol