Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

This thread is for the discussion of funny moments where you've had to assist a breakdown or similar, only to find a funny outcome. Or if you've been in a funny breakdown moment yourself where the only repair required was commonsense. :)

For instance ...

One time I was watching two guys on my street trying to push a car off a car trailer. They'd taken the car out of gear, handbrake off, and it still wouldn't budge. They had it jacked up at the tow bar to incline the trailer, still wouldn't move.

I could not bear to watch them any further, so I walked over and unhitched the car from the cable. Suddenly the job was easier.

Another one, years ago, I was at a party and a female friend comes in complaining her battery was flat because her car wouldn't start. Punchline was that she had the car in "drive" whilst trying to start it.

Anyone else wasted their time helping out a stranded driver? :)

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/
Share on other sites

TOTALLY forgot about this one, and it's even Stag related!

The day I picked up my nm35, the first place I went was a servo, filled up, then went to drive away, car wouldn't come out of park! Tried everything, on, then off, etc, minutes tick by, put my foot on the brake, out it comes!

What a dumbass :) , still, there's no point doing stupid stuff unless you tell someone...

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4610610
Share on other sites

Had one recently.

Running low on fuel I parked on a sloped bit of road. Turbo timer running I went inside for a few minutes.

Come out and car wont start. Get a bit of fuel (approx 1 litre) car still wont start. Take fuel line off throttlebody, turn ignition on and no fuel pumping.

So I assume fuel pump has burnt out due to turbo timer being on and sucking dry.

Pay to have car towed home & ring around for a fuel pump. Decide to go buy a $1500 run about LUCKILY it was a piece of shit and I didn't get it.

On the way home from inspecting the POS it occurs to me that I should try to start the car now its on level ground & I am confident thats what the prob was.

Of course it kicks over 1st kick. SPEWINGGGGGG BUT HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME...

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4610637
Share on other sites

funny you bring this up now.... chefstagea and i were driving around yesterday and saw a middle aged women starting to change a flat... We thought it would be fun to offer and do the swap in prob 3 or 4 minutes for her.... But no she didnt want any help because she didnt want to jack the car without chocking one of the wheels and she didnt have a chock and had allready called the raa. Informed her that it was necessary but she still didnt want a bar of it.... Probably thought we didnt know what we were on about.

Should have shown her the cuts and shit on my hands from doing turbo gaskets 2 nights ago, cos changing a wheels so much harder ehhh.

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4610734
Share on other sites

What a dumbass :P , still, there's no point doing stupid stuff unless you tell someone...

Hahaha, so true - and it's also true that you can't laugh at someone else unless you can laugh at yourself! :D

My old man used to do a fair bit of mechanic work for friends, etc. Once, a friend of his complained that no matter how many wheel alignments he'd had done on his car, after a few days it would always pull to one side again. Dad drove the car home, jacked it up, checked all the suspension and steering arms to make sure nothing was bent, and took it to have another alignment done by a mob he always bought his tyres from, etc. Dad then drove the car and it was all good, so we took it back to the owner, and when we got there we asked him where he'd like it parked. He lived in a small batch of townhouses with single garages and sloping gutters. He owned another car, so the garage spot was taken, so he parked the car half-on and half-off the service road in front of his house. Now, because he ALWAYS reversed into that spot and the two left wheels were ALWAYS up on the grass, one side was always being exposed to forces that threw the steering out...

picard-facepalm.jpg

I'm not sure if my old man ever mentioned anything to him (or if he realised at the time why this was happening), but as I watched this guy reverse the car back, I thought to myself "You clown..." I wasn't even old enough to drive at the time, and even I understood the concept of why the wheel alignment was always being whacked out.

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4610798
Share on other sites

Had a call from a mate "can you come around and help with my brakes" turned up and he had been going at the rear drums on his ute for an hour with every type of hammer or anything he could hit the drums with "these bloody drums won't come off they must be seized' he says so I reached into the car and took the handbrake off, bang both drums fell onto the floor,he felt like a total tool and still had to pay me the six pack he had promissed.lol lots!

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4610800
Share on other sites

i was not involved but lots of close mates were . trying to push start a nz new 2.2 gx legacy . theyd push and it wouldnt move . "let the brakes off you tard" . "they are off" "are f in not "so driver would get out and could push car single handledly . get back in . they to push it . wont move . took like 20 minutes to figure out that it is the hill holder . if you touch the brakes then put the clitch in it holds the brakes untill the clutch is half out so you can do hill starts really easily .

chick i knew with odd sized wheels on the front of a shit box blue bird . "dont go too far on those tires it will shag the diff" "my cars front wheel drive , it doesnt have a diff"

and countless times i have seen snow chains on the back wheels of hondas . "oi put them on the front wheels " . " why ? you put yours on the back "

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4610967
Share on other sites

lol autos in park.....

many years ago (OK my first car) I had an auto corolla that had a dodgy solenoid on the starter motor. for years every time the solenoid failed we would just short it to the main starter power with a big screwdriver and the car would start.

so....one time it happened, I grabbed the screwdriver, stood in front of the car and shorted the starter - but this time the car was not starting because it was in gear (safety cut out) which I bypassed by shorting the starter. Sure enough the car started, and lurched forward into the idiot standing in front of it with a big screwdriver (ie me)

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4613150
Share on other sites

TOTALLY forgot about this one, and it's even Stag related!

The day I picked up my nm35, the first place I went was a servo, filled up, then went to drive away, car wouldn't come out of park! Tried everything, on, then off, etc, minutes tick by, put my foot on the brake, out it comes!

What a dumbass :) , still, there's no point doing stupid stuff unless you tell someone...

Me too. That makes two dumbasses. But even before that I couldn't find the hand brake. Had to ask the compliancer.

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4613181
Share on other sites

this lady pulled up at work and we were watching her stuffing around in her car for about 10 minutes. finally she saw us watching her and come up to the boss and I and said that for some reason she couldn't get her keys out of the ignition. we went up to the car, put the auto in park and pulled the keys out lol

ps. this one also got me when i first got me stagea lol (first auto i'd ever owned or even really driven)

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4613241
Share on other sites

My friends sister filled her pulsar up with oil (right up to the top 12 ltrs) lol

Chick walks into servo asking for some 7-10 the attendant has no idea what she wants. After checking the shelves he asks her to show him where it is put into the car? she points to the oil cap on top of the motor which is upside down :blink:

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4613620
Share on other sites

Fuel flap.

When I picked up my Stag (had no fuel), I looked for the fuel flap release button.

Couldn't find it, nor could my mate.

Tried to open it my pushing the left side of it, but to no avail.

Had myself, my mate and a dude looking for a way to open the fuel flap at the servo.

Finally gave up, called Ben @ Northshore who proceeded to tell me (in between laughs) that all I had to do was push it on the side.

I sheepishly went back to the car and pushed the RIGHT side of the fuel cap which opened effortlessly :)

Nothing like having a heap of people looking at your unique (at the time) car while you struggle to open the fuel flap!

:D:):D:D

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/271214-can-i-help-you/#findComment-4615154
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • How's everyone going? Just a shout-out introducing myself. I'm James, I live on the north side of Brisbane. I bought an R33 that had been left to rot in someone's front yard for 14 years. Apparently, it has immobiliser/fuel issues. Long story short, it's suffering from a seized engine, plus whatever else turns up once it runs. The car is pretty good considering it sat for so long. It pretty much died after being imported. It has a bunch of Jap parts and a full Top Secret body kit. It's painted Fiat Turchese Festival, or aqua blue if you're not French. Another project to throw money at!
    • So the clockspring is responsible for the indicators cancelling on their own? I thought that was the function of that white thing in the center (any idea what it's called?)
    • Can you log IAT? Whilst WTA coolers have their place, doing any sort of sustained run is not one of them There are fixes that slow down the heat soak, like ice boxes, which don't last that long, and interchillers, which are fairly expensive, up grades to the WTA cooling radiator, which may require a bigger pump, and upgrades to the reservoir size,  and upgrades to the cooling fans, but, it all still heat soaks, and takes ages to come down in hot weather  For a turbo, that isn't locked into WTA like my PD blower is, can you not possibly swap to a nice air to air intercooler????, it would be better for sustained runs then, and have alot less things that could go wrong in my opinion 
    • So, the other thing I've sorted is a baseline dyno run up at Unigroup's new location. The auto trans was a little unco-operative by both shifting down when the throttle was floored on the dyno (so Mark had to ramp it up more slowly than in a manual) and also by shifting up at 6,000 even in sports mode instead of the indicated redline of 7,000 Still, on a hot day it made 240rwkw at 16psi which seems about right for 300kw (400hp) through an auto at the wheels.  The shape of the curve is not quite right because it was not full throttle to about 4,500 to stop it kicking down, but until I can get a tune on the auto trans control this was the best we could do.....full boost will be well below 5,000 once that is sorted, I'll get some data logs when I can to confirm For comparison, the R32 made 255 at 12psi (at 4,500) on the same dyno with tune, n1 turbos, cam gears, big exhaust but otherwise all standard so the v37 is likely a little better out of the box. One thing that is very clear is that the standard water to air intercoolers are not up to sustained use at full throttle in warm ambient temps. After about 5 runs (so only a few minutes full throttle), it was pulling boost and timing and dropping 10-15% power. Unfortunately I didn't get that printout and the Unigroup guys are away at the moment, will try and get hold of it on their return. So, looks like a healthy engine to start modifying and the only real area of concern is the w2a heat exchangers which the aftermarket has plenty of solutions for    
    • I maintain it actually looked really nice in person. So much so that I thought "No, this is illegal" but there it was, clear as day. I think we can easily call the wing and wheels/height to be transformative. Not saying it's better than the GR Whatever, or the 86, or the WRX STI or anything of that sort (the internet says it all bolts up so you can buy best of all worlds?) but it's still at least a thing and not nearly AS bad as people say.
×
×
  • Create New...