The Sa Wasteland

[Krishy]

I know 95% of SAU aren't clubbers...

But for the 5% who are... Can you remember Church the nightclub? Amazing place back in the day. Filthy shit, but f**k it was awesome. Then they got shut down a few years back after one too many leb fights/underagers getting in and shit like that.

Well, after sitting dormant for a few years, it's re-opened... into...

Applebar!

It's a pretty 'exclusive' club spinning pure house music. Cocktail bar on Level 2, Dance floor on level 1 and a smoking area on level 3 apparently.

Check out how much this shit has changed, though:

Good to see Adelaide getting some more of these types of clubs. Sure, the filthy places are fun, but these kind of places are also real good fun since you don't get all the tools in there.

I'll have to check it out on the weekend I think.

wow thats looks fair awesome...good to hear that they managed to turn such a shitty place into a really upperclass bar.....i remember the good old times had at the old church.....when is the reopening Daniel???

[Inline 6]

i remember their bartenders reguarly stealing from customers before it shut and me getting kicked out for asking for my change, good times were had there back in the day but just before they closed they had some f ing retarded bartenders

[CRoNic...]

wow thats looks fair awesome...good to hear that they managed to turn such a shitty place into a really upperclass bar.....i remember the good old times had at the old church.....when is the reopening Daniel???

Well the 'exclusive' launch was the other week... all VIP's and shit went there. Apparently you had to drop some serious names just to get through the door.

I've been invited to their Saturday night this weekend which features some DJ from Melbourne (can't remember his name from the top of my head) but doors open at 8pm, closes at 5am.

I'm assuming it's already open now to the general public, but I'll head down Saturday night to take a squiz. It looks like such an amazing transformation compared to what it used to be. I remember the toilets down stairs didn't even have door handles inside since they got ripped off weekly. And the toilets were always destroyed.

They're advertising it as a place open from Thursday nights through to Sunday nights. Should be good.

http://www.theapplebar.com.au/ <-- that's their website. Judging by the pics from the other week, you need some decent eye candy under your arm to get in haha.

[CRoNic...]

going by the individual behind the concept of this whole applebar joint, this will be one very classy club. I'll put dollars down to say this joint will be extremely difficult to get into if you're below 25, look wasted, aren't dressed to impress, or don't know the club owners. And again, going by the individual behind it - deep/soulful/disco/tech/prog/underground house. No trashbag electro shit you hear around EC, HQ etc.

I can't wait to check it out

And that's what Adelaide needs... more variety and places like this.

Places like Savvy's attempt to put out some classy image, but they can never pull it off. I reckon this place might just be able to do that.

[mid life crisis]

my trip too bunnings :-(

Ok so it's not a joke, but it's damned funny

I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.

Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Bunnings, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the den. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.

Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, crap, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red aproned clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ........BIG mistake!!!!!

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.

Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.

Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.

[JMW]

Well the 'exclusive' launch was the other week... all VIP's and shit went there. Apparently you had to drop some serious names just to get through the door.

I've been invited to their Saturday night this weekend which features some DJ from Melbourne (can't remember his name from the top of my head) but doors open at 8pm, closes at 5am.

I'm assuming it's already open now to the general public, but I'll head down Saturday night to take a squiz. It looks like such an amazing transformation compared to what it used to be. I remember the toilets down stairs didn't even have door handles inside since they got ripped off weekly. And the toilets were always destroyed.

They're advertising it as a place open from Thursday nights through to Sunday nights. Should be good.

http://www.theapplebar.com.au/ <-- that's their website. Judging by the pics from the other week, you need some decent eye candy under your arm to get in haha.

I've got to say that place looks pretty good now. I can even remember it back when it was Synagog, before the Finks bought a large share and renamed it.

Might just have to check it out one night.

[CRoNic...]

Now all Adelaide needs is for someone to buy Rise and re-open it...

And maybe even Club 199...

Good memories haha

[Inline 6]

I've got to say that place looks pretty good now.

like elizabeth shopping centres makeover you might need to wear shoes in there now

[TALBO]

Hahaha I remember the shit hole when it was Synagog and then later Church, tried to stay away in those days!

like elizabeth shopping centres makeover you might need to wear shoes in there now

It's hot today, you won't find a carpark anyway

[Luciano]

hahaha +1 for Rise

even though it was shithole, i miss seeing the crazy shit that used to go on in there at 6am Sunday mornings

[CRoNic...]

Haha oh yes. Adelaide needs a proper recovery club... none of this Red's crap or 58's that shuts at 8am.

[Damo_R34]

or you could just stay home and save money for pimpin out the gtr Dan?

[Tangles]

shame.

my knees cant last an hour standing up, so no way id enjoy myself in a club.

pity. =(

used to rave it up as a young lad but dem'days are well n'truley over

[CRoNic...]

or you could just stay home and save money for pimpin out the gtr Dan?

I know! But I just got my Prodigy tickets for melbourne in March haha... So i have Sensations in Melbourne, Summadayze in Melbourne, Tiesto in Melbourne and Prodigy in Melbourne. I should just move over there.

I'll settle down and start saving... ...when I'm 35! haha

[steveP]

was wondering what was going on at church seeing there was activity now and then. i dont even recognise it, prob a good thing lol. but what about the foam parties. i actually prefer the trashy clubs, yeah u get dero's and bogans, but there arnt any snooty pretentious bitches there. just everyone chilling.

[CRoNic...]

was wondering what was going on at church seeing there was activity now and then. i dont even recognise it, prob a good thing lol. but what about the foam parties. i actually prefer the trashy clubs, yeah u get dero's and bogans, but there arnt any snooty pretentious bitches there. just everyone chilling.

Haha funny you mentioned the foam parties there... I just hit up that Web Archive website, found the old Church website and found a whole heap of foam party pics.

Epic times! Nothing like 58's foam parties... it's basically 2 people blowing bubbles.

[Damo_R34]

anyone listen to NovaNation? better than fresh!

now playing: California dreaming - royal gigolos = winnar!

[writeoff]

Applebar!

It's a pretty 'exclusive' club spinning pure house music. Cocktail bar on Level 2, Dance floor on level 1 and a smoking area on level 3 apparently.

Good to see Adelaide getting some more of these types of clubs. Sure, the filthy places are fun, but these kind of places are also real good fun since you don't get all the tools in there.

I'll have to check it out on the weekend I think.

I'd hate to think what the drink prices will be - $8-10 pints (it looks like they have at least 4 beers on tap maybe double that if they're not repeated), cocktails will be $20+ and they will probably charge (what I consider a massive scam) $7-8 base spirit & $3-4 for the mixer (and then not give you the remaining mixer in the bottle - classic case of double dipping). The truth is that to go out in Adelaide these days and get a little drunk - not paro, not swaying but happy and 'socially lubed' (above .05) - costs way too much. Especially if you throw in dinner first, a dirty yiros at the end of the night and at least one cab fair ($45 to my house). I've dropped $200 on a night and gone home sober.

The place does look good in the photos and it is good that Adelaide has another venue to go to but a group of guys going in without any ladies or names to drop will probably get rejected unless they are displaying some serious wealth.

[Tangles]

lol ?

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191

[Damo_R34]