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I like to add a couple more:

33: Give way to soccer mums in 4x4s... after all they own the residential roads during school runs.

34: When accelerating from the lights, 0 to 60km/h should take several minutes at least, after all any kind of acceleration faster than that is 'excessive show of speed' in the eyes of the road saints, not to mention it will also help you save petrol (refer to RAC's green driving booklet).

35: When you are on Leech Highway & are next to a massive truck at the traffic lights it is only natural that you should take off & accelerate slower than it when the lights go green, after all you don't want to be done for 'excessive show of speed' do you? As for the banks of cars stuck behind you, well they can go F*CK themselves as you are doing the right thing for being a slow & safe driver.

36: Always use your fog lights to warn others on the road of your presence, even when there are no fogs.

37: When you see a police car in the distance, immediately slow down & drive 20km/h+ under the limit, that way you can show the good people of the law that you are dedicated in keeping the flow of traffic nice & slow... oh & not to mention safe!

38: Remember people, every km/h over the magical speed limit will cause massive car explosions, head & limbs flying & blood bursting everywhere...

try driving here first, you can no drive through a merge with any level of traffic faster than 20km/h, if you have more than one merge in a short space of time you get to go a massive 0km/h as it turns into stop start traffic thats magically clear the moment you pass the last merge.

39: Remember, those white dotted lines on the ground in multi lane roundabouts are only for decoration, there is no need to pay attention to them. In fact, the more you cross them or drive directly over them, the better driver you are.

  • 2 months later...
39: Remember, those white dotted lines on the ground in multi lane roundabouts are only for decoration, there is no need to pay attention to them. In fact, the more you cross them or drive directly over them, the better driver you are.

Those lines are the same as the apex on a track! Lol..

27. If you are a TransPerth bus driver, you must win at all costs, getting to your destination prior to any other driver is life and death. Never worry about your passengers bouncing round in the back like tennis balls, hell it's a cheap form of theme park, in fact Perth's very own.

I have fond memories of being the victim of this particular rule for several years before my first car. The drivers who ran the route from my old house in Willetton to the Carlisle Tafe (98/99 I think it was, if memory serves) were nothing short of complete sociopaths. There was one dude who actually managed to make me feel somehow both depressed and amused as the doors to the bus swung open. I just had to see his face and I knew it right away, "Yep, this guy again. This poor bus is going to suffer another afternoon with a brand new set of scuff marks as he clobbers parked hatchbacks along the front of the Willetton Basketball Stadium."



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