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FICTION: Girls are looking for nice guys to marry and have kids with.

FACT: Girls think nice guys are stupid little bitches.

Anyway, back to the death thing. Nine times out ten, when someone dies, they were nice. How many times have you been to a funeral where everyone said that the dude was an asshole? None. By being an asshole you make yourself virtually invincible to accidental death.

FACT: Everyone who was hit by a train or bus in 2002 was nice.

FACT: Nice people are 100 times more likely to be killed by badgers.

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