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2011 F1 Thread


zebra

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Biddy?

:yes: i could see her at turn one just as the f1s approach start to talk about something completely irrelevant.....

i wouldn't call myself a mummas boy, i spent most of the days on the weekend telling here to gtfo. :laugh:

she still does not know if she coming yet anyways.

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more from schumi

Hello my tifosi chums.

You, more than anyone else in this crazy world we call F1, will be knowing what the situation is right now with a certain line of questions.

"Michael, are you going to retire?"

You know, if I had one euro for every time this question has been asked to me, I could have given it to the Greeks and they would have no debt problems. It was last year very similar.

There are three totally boring and most-asked questions in F1 and that is one of them. The second is "Do you think Lewis is a dangerous driver?" and the third is, "Eddie, is that your own hair?"

The answer to each is "no", "no" and "no".

I am also constantly being asked what I think about Sebastian, to which I always reply with a bit of a wink attached: "I think he's the best Swiss driver since Clay Regazzoni". Which reminds me. Quite honestly and obviously there is something to be investigated about Italian surnames in F1. Perhaps there is a genetic link as to why there are so many who don't come from Italy. Let me start a list for you:

Rubens Barrichello, not from Italy, from Brazil

Jerome D'Ambrosio, not from Italy, from Belgium

Paul DiResta, not from Italy, from Scotland, och aye

Daniel Ricciardo, not from Italy, from Australia, mate

Sebastien Buemi, not from Italy, from Switzerland

Jarno Trulli, not from Italy, from Planet Whiney

The last entry was, naturally, a joke, but you can see where I am pointing. Anyway, I am very much enjoying my summer break here at Schloss Schumi in Vufflens Le Chateau. It has given me time to reflect the season so far. Perhaps my two nemesis are doing the same. I am sure Kamui Kobayashi is doing something relaxing, like hurling himself down canyons in a damp suit. Vitaly Petrov is no doubt at a Black Sea resort gorging himself silly on beetroot-based snacks. Probably some insects, too.

Quite honestly and obviously and honestly and obviously my season would have been a lot better if they hadn't been in the way so much. But it is my own fault. I keep forgetting things. I wake up at night in the cold sweat screaming "Unlatch the paddle! Unlatch the paddle!"

There are so many buttons to press and it is always so difficult to remember what they do in the heating battle. Lieblings pudgie wudgie donut face says I can't remember to put the top back on the toothpaste tube at home so it's not surprising I fiddle with the wrong buttons when I have 'Banzai Boy' or 'Simples' breathing up my exhaust pipe.

My starts are going great. No problems there. It's just my finishes that are not going so well...And Laps 8 to 46 could also be a lot better.

Here is the typical race for me in 2011.

Qualify two places behind Nico, 0.2 seconds slower. Not so bad.

Good start, make up a few places

Change tyres the earliest on Lap 12

Emerge from pits behind Kobayashi who's going to Lap 27 on one set and my DRS wing isn't working. Stuck behind him, strategy disappearing down drain like a rat chasing a sausage.

Banzai Boy disappears and finally catch Petrov.

Lose front wing in excitement of catching up another car

Box for new wing.

Come out in front of leaders and have to slow down to be lapped

Lapped by Nico... who waves to me

Press all buttons on the steering wheel at once to try to get the car to break down

Car breaks down

Give my "cheery battler" smile and wave to crowd on way back to pits

Prepare excuses for interview with Lee McKenzie who will ask me, "So, Michael, how did it go...?"

I will hint at a problem from Lap 7, but make little of it

I then say I'm really looking forward to the next race.

And no, I am not retiring.

That is the first part of the season over, but already I am looking forward to the second part and my favourite circuit at Spa and the power of the Mercedes engine. With some nice improvements to the car we can make it to the podium in the next two races. I am certain of this. I just hope the improvement doesn't involve another button.

Until then my little Schumsters, have a great summer break and if you see any strange or fascinating insects while you are out in the hot sun, make sure to send them to Vitaly, but please, whatever you do, don't send him the brightly coloured ones as they are often poisonous...

The Schum

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