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A joke for the day


Tosh
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Read this before you open the pictures

Thought everyone might be interested in these photos of a snake caught on an electric fence on a sheep & cattle station near the NSW town of Nyngan.... Some tourists on holidays came across the snake caught in an electric fence, being continually shocked, and getting very angry!

The group wondering what to do, decided to divert the current, cut the wire AND let the snake go! (Thinking this was the humane thing to do).

When the property owner found out he went ballistic, besides being upset about his fence, the snake had been eating lambs in the area, and he'd been trying to track it for ages. He did not appreciate the help!

Australians are used to a big snake or two, but wait till you see this old fella!

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when asking average men about the best ballet dancers...

average russian man says, (with annoying accent)

"Russia has the best ballet dancers in the world'

English men say (in their very snobby accent)

"The best ballet dancers in the world come from the english ballet company"

Average yobbo aussie with the sun tan and the surfie accent says

"Our poofs will beat ur poofs any day"

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The Boss was in a quandary.

He has to fire somebody.

He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night.

She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The Boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."

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Osama & a large group of his followers were winding through the hills of afghanistan ,When they hear an aussie voice taunting them "1 aussie soldier is better than 5 taliban" he said ,So Osama sends of 5 soldiers over to sort it out ,A short gunfight erupts ,Osama waits but noone returns so they move on ,Not long after they hear the same voice taunting "1 aussie soldier is better that 20 taliban" ,So Osama sends 20 troops out to finish the job ,A heavy gunfight ensues ,Osama waits but again noone returns so they keep travelling ,Later in the evening to their amazement ,The same aussie voice fires up again joking "1 aussie soldier is better than 50 taliban" ,Osama now furious sends his remaining troops out to end it ,A massive gunfight continues all night ,Osama waits ,And waits ,Until one mortally wounded soldier returns and says to him "Don't send any more ,It's a trap ,There's 2 of them "

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