Jump to content
SAU Community

A joke for the day

Tosh

By Tosh,
in New South Wales

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Posted Images

madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

Johnny(Manager) wanted to screw a girl(Employee) in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said

"I'll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you...." but the girl

said "NO".

Johnny said "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says "ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks "what happened......"

She said "THE BASTARD USED COINS!!!"

Management lesson: ALWAYS CONSIDER A BUSINESS PROPOSAL IN ITS ENTIRETY!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

Irish Gas Station

>

>Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drove his new Ford

>Excursion into an Irish gas station.

>

>An attendant greeted him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro

>was.

>

>"Top of the mornin' to ya!" the Irishman smiled, doffing his cap.

>

>As Tiger got out of the mammoth vehicle, two tees fell out of his pocket.

>

>"So what are those, lad?" asked the attendant.

>

>"They're called tees," replied Tiger.

>

>"And what would ya be usin' 'em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.

>

>"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," said Tiger.

>

>"AW! Jaysus, Mary an'Joseph," exclaimed the Irish attendant.

>

>"Those fellas at FORD think of everything!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

Naked Hillbilly

>

>Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods.

>All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small

>cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"he called into the cave and listened

>closely

>until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off

>his

>clothes and ran into the cave.

>

>The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all

>about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Indian replied

>"No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they

>holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. ! If they get an answer

>back, it means there's a beautiful woman in there waiting for us."

>

>Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the

>cave,

>stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was

>the

>answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"from deep inside. He also tore off his

>clothes and ran into the opening.

>

>The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then

>spied

>a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge

>opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is

>bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine

>women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with

>all

>his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

>

>Like the others, he then heard an answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO

>WOOOOOOOOO!"

>With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,

>tearing off his clothes as he ran.

>

>The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read....

>

>(Are you ready for this??),

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN

>

>

>

>============================================================

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • IXMandalorianXI
      Wheel offset has me confused.

      By IXMandalorianXI · Posted

      Thank you for the heads up! Will definitely take a look!
    • Nsn32
      R32 GTR front Differential and prop shaft

      By Nsn32 · Posted

      Hi all,  My 1990 R32 GT-R has developed a bad knocking sound coming from the what I assume is the front differential (the reason why I assume this is when I pull the fuse for the asetta the knock disappears put it back in and it comes back and yes the transfer case and gearbox has fresh oil in it), the uni joint on the front differential side was broken bad it would have been causing massive vibrations into the pinion gear,    has anyone experienced this before? And is anyone selling a front differential Center complete with pinion and crown gear ?    For the drive shaft I can’t find any driveline workshops in SE QLD that will put a new uni joint on the front prop shaft as they are a staked uni joint no one wants to touch it 😭 does anyone have any recommendations on any workshops that can replace the uni joint ?    sorry if this has been posted before I couldn’t find anything using the search function for this exact issue  thank you  NSM32    sorry for the bad photo, yes it’s missing a bolt I took the photo while removing the shaft to take to a workshop to try and get it repaired 
    • hardsteppa
      Wheel offset has me confused.

      By hardsteppa · Posted

      The offset of the wheel is usually stamped on the inside of the rim. So just pull the wheel off and see if it's marked as such.
    • IXMandalorianXI
      Wheel offset has me confused.

      By IXMandalorianXI · Posted

      It's very possible my measurements are wrong as I did measure with the wheel and tire still on the car. It's possible I didn't judge inner gap correctly and ended up adding width. I'm eager to buy new wheels, but I think I might be putting the cart before the horse. The best thing to do this right. I can take off the wheels off, I might even just have the tires taken off and do some proper measurements. It won't cost me much, if anything, and will save me a whole bunch of headache in the long run.
    • Duncan
      Wheel offset has me confused.

      By Duncan · Posted

      You are right, there are 2 ways to approach it, you can go for wheels known to fit well on the car, or measure from what you have. If you jack up the car and check the distance from the inner side of the tyre to the first obstruction (generally the control arm, or a shock) and then do the same from the outside of the tyre to the guard, that tells you how much wider you can go or what offset you can use. I'd note that 9.5 is huge on the front of a 33 gtst, if they are not scrubbing anywhere including fuil lock then don't change anything about the front width and offset.
×
×
  • Create New...