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A joke for the day

Tosh

By Tosh,
in New South Wales

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madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

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Posted

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two sheep.

You sell one and buy a ram.

Your flock multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: (Workchoices!)

You have two sheep.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the wool of four sheep.

You are surprised when the sheep drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You go on strike because you want three sheep.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary sheep and produce 20 times the wool.

You then create clever sheep cartoon images called Sheepkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and shear themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

Both die from foot and mouth.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You count them and learn you have five sheep.

You count them again and learn you have 42 sheep.

You count them again and learn you have 12 sheep.

You stop counting sheep and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5,000 sheep, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You have 300 people shearing them.

You claim full employment, high productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

That one on the left is kinda cute... :yes:

Kero Mentor

Kero

Posted
Posted

Subject: Child abuse....

Federal Court Ruling from the Melbourne Age , Australia (AP) - A seven year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the New South Wales State of Origin team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

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