The Drunks Reference

[luke gtr]

so, after much discussion in the whoretown about scotches, nik suggested a thread.

here it is.

I wont be participating due to being a non drinker.

so, have fun kids.

[Captain Natro]

Oh yer, welcome home peeps.... Welcome home *tears up*

This shall serve purpose to not only scotch but all alcohol based chin wagging good work Luke...

[cowdy]

So I'm keen to get home and have some crystal head

[Plattsy]

So I'm keen to get home and have some crystal head

i have partaken. it is a very nice vodka.

bottles are a bonus really!

[Captain Natro]

So I'm keen to get home and have some crystal head

Couple cold TEDs and Heinikens in the cold box at home waiting for meh

[-Boz-]

y'all bitches be in my school now!

10+ years running pubs and clubs, currently working at a multi award winning, hat rated restaurant. I likes me my alcomahol!

[Plattsy]

cool story bro.

what rating is the restaurant? flat brim or flat cap?

of course im only pulling your leg!

i have been craving patron recently.....

[Cadmoon]

Scotches...these I like.

[cowdy]

Going to get a bottle of scorpion tequila when I finish the crystal head

Bought a vodka gun still waiting for it that should be fun

[-Boz-]

This was a response to a couple of questions one of the club members sent me a while back :-)

First, the Martini. Be warned, if you are not a big drinker a Martini is a BAD starting place for real cocktails. They are pure alcohol with NOTHING to cut the flavour except a little melted ice. Great if you love that sort of thing but it can take some getting used to.

Doing it right it should be two shots of gin, one shot of dry vermouth and garnished with two unstuffed green olives. You STIR a martini - James Bond is an idiot. Get a quality Gin, Bombay Sapphire as a minimum, Tanqueray is better, to make it. Don't go above these in price as Gin is an acquired taste and you may not like it. Quality Vermouth is VERY hard to come by so Cinzano is fine (and is dirt cheap.) Chill your serving glass down with ice in it (or put it in the freezer for a short time.) While it is chilling add the two shots of gin and shot of vermouth into a large glass (we use 28 oz glasses called Boston Glasses in bars) and top with ice. You add ice to the spirits, not spirits to the ice - prevents excessive melting. Use a thin spoon/knife/skewer/whatever and slide it down the side of the glass and use it to stir/twirl the ice around in the glass. The idea is to get all the ice moving in a smooth, circular motion -

is a good example. Stir until the outside of the glass gets nice and frosty and condensation starts to form. Empty your serving glass of ice/melted water and strain the martini into it, there should be no ice in the serving glass. Stick 2 olives on a long toothpick and plop them into the martini. And there you have it

There are a thousand different variations on this method but that is the traditional method. Alter quantities, garnish and stir time to suit taste (more stirring = colder and more watered down, great for inexperienced drinkers.) Personally I drink mine a bit more like Winston Churchill, I add extra gin and raise my glass in a toast to my dusty bottle of unused vermouth, but it's each to their own. Anything with a fruit name (e.g. Appletini) is in no way related to a martini and just had an unimaginative bartender who created it and couldn't think of a better name.

Then we get on to Vodka Martini's and that is just a whole different kettle of fish best left for another day.

Phew, now that the easy question is done on to the complex question. What makes a good scotch.

Firstly, unless you come across a bottle of 21-year-old Royal Salute or Hibiki 17-year-old DO NOT DRINK BLENDED WHISKY!!!! Blended whisky is rubbish. Even 'good' blended whisky, like Johnny Walker Blue, is crap and over priced crap at that. You can do SO much better than them. Johnny Blue is currently around $200 a bottle in most decent bottle shops and I could give you a list of whiskies as long as my belly is round that cost half the price and kick it all around the bar all day, every day. Blended whisky is what you use if you want a scotch and coke. Real whisky is always a single malt with some oddball exceptions like solera tun whiskies but that is another lesson for another day.

Secondly, Scotch is highly personalised and it takes a LONG time to truly understand the differences and develop your personal taste. What's good for me may be rubbish to you and vice versa. Get out there and try stuff. If you can handle it, drink it neat (by its self, no ice and no mixer) with just a TINY dash of water mixed in. If that is too rough, drink it on the rocks. If that is still too rough it means that whatever you are drinking is either horse piss or you just don't like it. Move on to another whisky and try again. Talk to your bartender, if they are worth two grains of salt they will be able to at least tell you the region the whisky is from. You will start to get an idea of what regions make what sort of whisky and find similar ones that you may enjoy.

As for regions, Scotland is divided into 4 main areas when talking about whisky. The Lowland, The Highland, Speyside and the Isle of Islay. Each region has it's own unique flavours and styles.

The Lowlands - The Lowlands region lies south of an imaginary line drawn from the Clyde estuary to the Tay estuary. Whiskies from the Lowlands tend to be soft and light in character. They often display very malty, grassy characteristics and subtle delicate aromas. Examples include Glenkinchie, Blandoch and Auchentoshan.

The Highlands - Moving north of the imaginary line takes us in to the Highland region. The region includes most of the rest of Scotland, with the exception of the Island of Islay and Campbeltown, and thus its malts vary greatly in character. Generalisations about the Highland region are less valid, as its whiskies will range from dry to sweet and some even have a touch of smoke and peat. Examples include Glenmorangie, Blair Athol and Talisker.

Speyside - Technically Speyside lies within the Highland region. It is home to approximately half of Scotland's malt whisky distilleries. This small area of land located to the north west of Aberdeen produces mellow, sweet, and particularly fruity malt whiskies. Examples include Glenfiddich, Glenlivet and Macallan.

Islay - Located in the Inner Hebrides, the small Island of Islay is often called 'Whisky Island' given its concentration of eight distilleries. The island produces very distinct malts, generally heavily peated and smoky in taste. Examples include Bowmore, Ardbeg and Laphroaig.

As a new whisky drinker I?d recommend looking for Speyside Malts to begin with. They tend to be easier to find and are friendlier to new drinkers. Glenfiddich is a great whisky to start with as it is easy to drink and is a nice, middle of the road flavour and is reasonably priced. Macallan is a great whisky to expand your palette on as it ranges in price and quality by large degrees, the 10-year-old fine oak is a great entry point (around $70 a bottle) and it goes up from there. I personally think the 25-year-old Sherry Oak is one of the best whiskies I have ever had but it is VERY expensive, around $500 a bottle.

Lowland malts tend to be hard to come by so unless you get very lucky I wouldn't bother going looking for them. Highland malts can be all over the place in terms of flavours so try some different ones out. The ones I listed above are good starting points.

Islay Malts are the big boy whiskies. HUGE flavours, heavy on peat and smoke. They taste like a glass of rich earth that someone put into a smoking hood for a week before blending down to be drunk. This is where you go to if the other whiskies lack the balls to put hair on your chest. Definitely not for everyone but these are my go to malts. I try keeping a bottle of Laphroaig 10 year old at home whenever my meagre uni student lifestyle allows for it. A close second for me is Oban.

So yeah, there is the VERY short intro to whisky knowledge from me ☺ Best bet is simply to get out there and try stuff. All the knowledge in the world comes to squat if you don't actually try them. Another time we'll talk about the other nations whisky/whiskey types.

[t5iv]

Great write up Boz. Appreciate the effort you've put in.

[-Boz-]

Mmm... Copy and paste. Sent that to Nick a month or so ago.

Next instalment will be the other whisky, Japanese :-) then it's on to whiskey from North America (Rye and Bourbon)

[t5iv]

Vodka?

[Cadmoon]

Vodka?

+1

[KING87]

Agree with Boz Johnny blue is rubbish for the price. A glenfidich 15 or 18 is way better value for money.

Islay scotches arn't for me far too peaty and smokey but each to their own.

I will have to try the Macallan next I think. Thanks Boz

[gts25t4door]

Jameson and Dry they best way to finish off the day.

As for scotch, Cragganmore 12 is nice but my favorite is glenmorangie port cask (Quinta Ruban), but anything speyside is quite drinkable.

I agree the Islay whiskys are very smokey (ie laphroaig) and peaty, and they can git tae fook.

I lived in scotland for 12 months and drank quite a few drams whilst I was there, and there are so many fantastic tasting whiskys that are made by boutique distilleries, and are quite cheap to buy, the only issue is that they only sell it over in Scotland .

Another think I find is that people who only drink Vodka have extremely bad taste

[Bunta]

I do love me some Jameson too!

[Plattsy]

id love to hear how you make a whisky sour with australian ingredients....

[luke gtr]

id love to hear how you make a whisky sour with australian ingredients....

lemons?

or taunt it for a couple of years....

[Plattsy]

lemons?

or taunt it for a couple of years....

haha. i uses lemon juice lemonade, and a small amount of sugar then blend it with ice.

however dem fat maryqueens have sour mix over there which, no matter how hard i try i cannot replicate!