So.... here's one for @GTSBoy .....
I plugged up the battery in the boot, to my surprise no sparks, no shorts, alarm went off, dome light on, etc. tried to crank the car, motor rotated a few times. Battery is pretty flat so will need more juice before I try to start it.
With the battery plugged up at the back, when you pop a volt meter across the chassis and the jump point, you get a nice 12V, no issue.
However, when you disconnect the battery at the rear, you straight up get a short.
My broscience is thinking there's some issue with the rectifier, dead diodes perhaps?
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