a very inark xmas

[inark]

Well it just wouldnt be xmas without something happening to me.

Xmas eve was filled with alcamahol, food and all around shinanigans in which my phone was destroyed.

Xmas was spent being hung over and not really being able to do much for the whole day so i decided to go up to my uncles farm/vineyard with Josie as most of the family was already up there preparing a Hangi (for those that dont know). We got up there about 11am and started drinking and eating the massive amounts of food that were there.

Later i decided seeing as we were on a farm and ive always wanted to learn how to ride a motorbike i would get my cousin to bring out his trail bike and teach me how its done.... everyone was worried having known me for long enough to know im bound to push it too hard and damage myself in some form of way.

Much to everyones and my own surprise i managed to fang around the paddocks like id done it before... even popping a couple of monos in 3rd gear and not coming off.

Trying to encourage my gf to get on and have a go we decided that the 4 wheeler would be a much easier option as it was much more stable and "impossible" to come off and it was automatic. Boy were we wrong

She jumped on and took my cousins gf for a ride and they had a ball tearing around the paddocks at about 20ks an hour til she realised that she had to change gears and started getting some more respectable speeds of up to 50ks an hour. I kept ducking and weaving in and out of their way teasing them til she finally got off.

We both thought we'd get on the 4 wheeler and have a bit of fun where Josie was driving... i think she was trying to get her own back while she was in control for all the times ive scared the begeesus out of her in my cars unfortunately she wasnt counting on a barbed wire fence just jumping out at us from nowhere while we were doing 50kmh to which we plowed through... got airborn and straight into a pile of posts. As soon as the bike landed i bounced off the back slamming my arse into the ground, but its ok, a big rock broke my fall and lots of smaller sharp ones managed to dislodge a fair amount of skin from my leg and put it in a safe place so it didnt get any further bruising etc PHEW!

Josies true colours shone through tho as she had totally no regard for herself and as soon as we came to a stop and i was on the ground clutching at my arse she got straight up yelling "NI ARE U OK!" and came running for me worried i was, in her words, "broken"

She was in shock... i was in agony... the 5 people viewing were also in pain... on the ground 10m away in tears... BUT NO ONE BRANG THE VIDEO CAMERA! i was so pissed... would definately have been a $10,000 funniest home video. Lucky for us a secondary amount of posts were just lying on the ground because we were heading for the bull paddock where all the nasty bulls were kept and with the momentum we had we would have clean gone through there too, not to mention that fact that josie managed to avoid going through the wire itself and hit the post dead center which pushed the barbed wire down as we went over it.

Well... i think im going to get back into bed now and keep my arse on ice and hope the swelling around my legs and butt cheek goes down. Had a ball though... definately getting a bike... dirt or road im not sure on as yet.

[crack]

is this a standard xmas for you or is it the first of many?

[sammus]

hahaha fun read

[clarkey]

Might pay to get a cat scan on your arse Ni

[Horus]

hahah good stuff Ni

[inark]

yup... its a pretty common occurance for me... first time somoene else has damaged me tho

i rubbed the cat on my arse but there were no definitive findings unfortunately clarkey...

cant wait til next xmas

[Restless 33]

i've done this before on a bike at my mates farm and there it was that time of day where it's not dark but not light, i managed to clothes-lin myself with a fence wire round the neck...riped me off the back of the little pee-wee i was ridin (his little brothers..man they're fun) i was jsut lucky it didn't brake the skin on my neck..and that i wasn't riding the trail bike i had been on 5 mins before...still bikes are awesome. i'd love one. good read 2

[doxximus]

hahahahaha your ass

hope its all well and fine for you and josie

so what you put in the hole to eat?

[SKY031]

mmmmmm..... hangi :aroused:

Make sure that there is a video camera where ever you go for new years eve..... i'd hate to be reading another story like this and be told once again that there is no footage.

I hope your botty is feeling better soon.

[someonestolecc]

Good to hear you're ok nark.

mm hangi's are good.

(this victorian side of the forum looks... different.. im outta here.)

[inark]

lol thanks K and CC

i actually dont like Hangi but everyone of my mates loves it... i dont like seafood either... i guess thats why they all call me the fake maori