Ratings

[CircusMonkey]

January 22, 1999: Last night, my old roomie from the House of Three Gaijin and I went to see Kodo in concert. For those unfamiliar, Kodo is the ultimate Japanese taiko drum troupe--don't miss them if they come to your area. I guarantee you'll be in for a treat. Anyway, we were on our way into the auditorium and stopped at a table where CDs and T-shirts were being sold. The Caucasian guy behind the counter was speaking in rapid-fire Japanese to the customers waiting in line, and that immediately got my roomie's attention.

"Nihongo ga o-jouzu desu ne?" ("Your Japanese is pretty good.") she said with a big grin. For those who've lived there, that's a tired and ancient phrase, worthy of a good rolling of the eyes.

He grinned back and said, "Maa, neh," a noncommittal answer.

"I lived there for almost eleven years," she said, leaning forward. Ah, I thought. The ritual has begun and the 11-year gauntlet thrown. "How long were you in Japan?"

"I still live there. I work for the troupe on [their retreat on] Sado Island."

"Oh."

Ding! Victory goes to the man behind the table.

I don't know if this happens to expats in other countries, but those foreigners living in Japan tend to foster a unique attitude toward other foreigners. It's a mixed thing: We can use each other's support, yet we don't really want to see others of our kind taking away our glory and making us less a kind of pioneer. Two gaijin strangers will not sit next to each other on the train. Two gaijin strolling down a street in the same neighborhood will give each other the hairy eyeball: "What's he doing on my turf? This is my neighborhood! This chome isn't big enough for more than one gaijin!" Maybe it's the Japanese tendency to hold strangers at arm's length that rubs off on us. Maybe we think that it takes a rare and special breed of foreigner to live in Japan. We want to pat ourselves on the back because we know not many people on our home soil will put up with the nonsense that goes with the lifestyle. But the more foreigners appear, the less special the lifestyle gets.

Once two expats meet on friendly terms, there's an immediate and obvious search to determine the other's status using the following criteria:

How long have you been in Japan? I've also noticed this tendency within my hobby, flying. Upon meeting, two pilots always ask each other how many flight hours they have. The longer the time, the better your status.

1-30 days: Green, wet behind the ears, just off the plane. Veterans like to pat this dazzled or distressed newcomer on the head and offer all sorts of advice. Not a threat.

30 days - 1 year: Tourist -- you still haven't committed and could turn tail for home any time.

2-3 years: Starting to pay your dues. Are you an English teacher or what?

4-6 years: Now we're talking. You're good for questions about the best Japanese video stores and where to find cheap foreign groceries.

7-10 years: Veteran. Are you ever planning to go home?

10 years and over: Life-timer. Evidently, this is home for you. Are you nuts?

You were born there: Native. Scary.

How's your Japanese? The quality and fluency of your Japanese usage gains you extra points if you're a short-timer. Points off, though, if you're living with or have married a Japanese person because "those language skills just 'rub off.'" Conversely, you can lose lots of points if you've lived in Japan over 25 years and can't say anything other than "Excuse me," "How much," and "Give me that."

What's your profession? Another big issue based on the following:

Military: You're considered a tourist--especially if you live on base and can buy cheap American food from the commissary. Most military are stereotyped as never leaving the base except for shopping trips, prepackaged tours, or wild nights of drinking with the "gate girls" who hang around the base gates waiting for an American boyfriend to feed them steaks at the NCO club. Expats on the economy envy you for those commissary privileges, believe me.

English teacher: You're considered a newbie or someone who hasn't found a serious job yet. There are exceptions, such as my roomie, who was a career English teacher for ten years because she loved teaching.

English language copywriter: This is a profession unique to foreigners; one they don't have to compete with Japanese for. It means you have desirable job skills and can put up with the politics and structure of the Japanese kaisha.

Ambassadorial/government: you got your job in your own country and you have a great expense account and spacious government quarters with real furniture, which means you can spend your income on expensive Japanese antiquities. You don't live like the rest of us poor saps, on the economy. Bet you drive a BMW, too.

Specialist: You stand at the top of the heap if you have a professional job that you competed with the Japanese for and won. You score extra points for the perserverance and paper trail hell you had to go through to get that job. It's even better if it's a fun job or one in the entertainment industry.

Offspring of any of the above: Chances are you were born and raised here and are the closest thing to native... unless you stayed inside base or embassy gates. Scary--one step away from tarento.

Gaijin Tarento: Foreign TV personality, someone who is usually born in Japan and speaks fluent Japanese. Other gaijin hate you.

Hardships: The more stories you have to tell, the higher you score. Extra points if you:

Completely furnished your first apartment with things you scrounged from the garbage (even more impressive in these tight economic times).

Found an apartment on your own after having many doors slammed in your face.

Successfully navigated your way through the Japanese medical system... while you were sick as a dog.

Commuted to work daily using the JR Yamanote, JR Tokaido, Keihin Kyuuko or Eidan Tozai/Ginza lines... during peak rush hour. ("People were packed in so tight you could hear bones crack.")

Navigated through heavy traffic on a bicycle while juggling three bags of groceries and a VCR. In the rain.

Found your first job after you arrived in Japan, proceeded through Immigration Hell, and actually emerged sane.

How "hen" are you? You're considered a "hen-na gaijin" or a weird foreigner, if you adopt the Japanese lifestyle and like it. Bonus points for:

Sleeping on a futon.

Eating Japanese food every day, even if you don't have to. Bonus points for learning to cook it "homestyle."

Working in a kaisha.

Really appreciating traditional "square" things like festivals and bon dancing.

Knowing the neighborhood better than neighbors who've lived there all their lives.

Visiting more sites around the country than most Japanese (it's cheaper to travel outside the country than within it).

Wearing yukata around the house.

This rating system still applies after you've returned home. In addition, you gain points for going back to Japan, still retaining the language and having interests back in Japan.

Quite funny how some of this is true if you talk with someone who have resided in Japan.

[Rezz]

I think all of it is true... spoken like someone with quite a bit of experience. I don't like how you lose points for marrying a Japanese though... I reckon thats worth 100 points as it is!

[Polski]

im hitting just over a month and that mail definately hits home! so funny seeing people that have been here a few years competing with gaijin behind the bar at clubs... the most ive heard so far is what level of the japanese proficiency test have you done! although most of the gaijin ive met on the street are ultra friendly, and none as yet has given me the turf rivalry!

[dodgybrooks]

yea that boy knows what he's talking about

i would love to know if that kind of behaviour goes on in foreign communities in other countries, or just in this crazy place.

[totoro]

that turf rivalry thing is funny! hahahaha

i dont think there are any turf rivalry between races in australia cos there are way too many foreigners though what i do see in the asian community is that there are always the "token" australian caucasian with heaps of asian friends.

there seem to be one in every group...

i think these people have somewhat of a rivalry or know of each others presence... like how many asians do you know or can you speak an asian language?

i think its in the same spirit of things... must be an asian/caucasian mix???

[Rezz]

Lets start some rivaly here!

How long have you guys been in Japan huh? Can you speak Japanese? Huh??

Pfffft. I thought so

[Polski]

been here a month!! so suck on that

Lets start some rivaly here!

How long have you guys been in Japan huh? Can you speak Japanese? Huh??

Pfffft. I thought so

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[totoro]

i will have to play for both teams! hahaha

[akeenan]

that was a good read

[funkymonkey]

wierd thing is I've often seen most of you guys living in Japan exhibit this on the forums.

The thing about the medical system, I recollect Rezzeh whinging about that exact fact.

They should add a new category for English teachers that make a little extra money on the side by helping n00bs import Japanese cars to their countries of origin though. Stereotypically zero knowledge of cars and egos to match their knowledge of english grammar

[Rezz]

wierd thing is I've often seen most of you guys living in Japan exhibit this on the forums.

Best reply I can come up with to that would be that we all wanna be the *only* one doing what we're doing.

Actually in reality, I've met at one point or another all the car enthusiast gaijin in Osaka (well most) and they've all been really friendly guys... maybe a few were on the back foot so to speak in the beginning (who knows why?) but loosened up over time. All in all I don't have any rivalry with other gaijin here, in fact its quite the opposite.

That article above seems to more focus on the people you randomly meet at bars/pubs... now thats a hotbed for rivalry if I ever saw one... and I think it all boils down to "who can get laid the most". If theres another gaijin who can speak fluent Japanese and he's on my turf... well than I don't like him...

They should add a new category for English teachers that make a little extra money on the side by helping n00bs import Japanese cars to their countries of origin though. Stereotypically zero knowledge of cars and egos to match their knowledge of english grammar

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lol care to elaborate?

[funkymonkey]

lol care to elaborate?

Nah I've done enough rib jabbin with elbow for today But I'm sure that statement will ruffle feathers of those it applies to, hehe. Its OK rezz, you don't fit the stereotype....

your knowledge of english grammar's not that big.

[Rezz]

Nah I've done enough rib jabbin with elbow for today But I'm sure that statement will ruffle feathers of those it applies to, hehe. Its OK rezz, you don't fit the stereotype....

your knowledge of english grammar's not that big.

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Hmmmm... you got me thinking now.

HEY! what th... you takin' tha piss???

:lol:

[akeenan]

i only have a turf thing when non japanese people are here and not interested in the place.

[lam]

Great read!

I have now been in Japan over 4 months, It's a little different for me i think, living in a gaijin house with 20 other foreigners. We all get along and its cool.

Being Vietnamese i kinda look Japanesse so gaijins never give me a second look, but its cool, standing on a train and having a couple of young gaijin males talking out loud about how they scored this jap girl etc... oblivious to the fact that i can understand them perfectly.. hehehe :lol: can become frustrating at times when going to restaurants because the staff look straight at me (I cant speak the language at all)

[BasketCase]

Great read fellas!

I have been in Japan a month doin some tech work for the Aichi World expo, I don't speak the language I just know the common phrases, but I think I end up chatting to every gaigin I run into - except the ones at expo coz we all work there and its not such a novelty.

I haven't made many japanese friends here either simply because I work with more than 100 other aussies here and there is ALWAYS a party going on somewhere and we pack out the vvenue we all go to.

The thing I do love here is, If your alone watching a band or somthing, your never along for long... some curious japanese folk will come and chat to you trying to better their english.

[Rezz]

The thing I do love here is, If your alone watching a band or somthing, your never along for long... some curious japanese folk will come and chat to you trying to better their english.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thats pretty much restricted to Expo though :lol:

[Streeter]

Ive been here a bit over 2 years and my Japanese is shameful although I seem to be able to communicate with most of the guys out at Nanko. So I guess its better than non existant.

Yeah I do have a bit of a "thing" about foreigners I run into... but mainly cause none of them are here doing what Im doing so its kind of like talking with a stranger that has little incommon apart from being in Japan (which I get saturated with at work). So call me a snob but most giagin in Japan are pretty boring as they come out with nearly word for word identical stories/questions.

[Intensevil]

Whats this nearly identicle story you speak of?

[Streeter]

-I went to shinsaibashi/shibuya and picked up this hot chick

-I go to ????? gaigin bar and get pissed every night

-I climbed Mt Fugi/went to see Kyoto Temples last week

I dunno sightseeing, jap chicks and drinking is all good but after hearing about it for the 100th time from virtually every gaigin you meet here it gets a little thin