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Christmas jobs for Al

from Christmas (712)

With twelve days till christmas, your family got for you:

12 days fruit picking,

11 off-ramp selling,

10 toilets cleaning,

9 digging graves,

8 sneaking sewers,

7 spearing rats,

6 training guard dogs,

5 giving blood!

4 crash-test dummying,

3 jobs roach-killing,

2 jobs dog catching,

and one job Santaing at the mall.

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Al in 311:: "We don't eat vegetables."

Al in 313: "When one of us is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better about ourselves."

Al in 423: "A Bundy never wins, but a Bundy never quits."

Bud in 423: "A Bundy never eats."

Kelly in 423: "A Bundy never learns."

Bud in 423: "A Bundy never cares."

Kelly in 423: "A Bundy never dies."

Peggy in 617: "We don't call the cops. They call the cops on us!"

Al in 725: "Lie if your wife is awaking. Lie if your belly is aching. Lie if you think she's faking. Lie, sell shoes, lie."

Al in 725: "Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum. Hooters, hooters on a girl that's dumb."

Christmas jobs for Al

12 days fruit picking,

11 off-ramp selling,

10 toilets cleaning,

9 digging graves,

8 sneaking sewers,

7 spearing rats,

6 training guard dogs,

5 giving blood!

4 crash-test dummying,

3 jobs roach-killing,

2 jobs dog catching,

and one job Santaing at the mall.

Ok, ok one last one to make me feel good...........

Al's nine commsssssssssss

1. It's okay to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays."

2. It is wrong to be French.

3. It's okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.

4. Lawyers: see rule three.

5. It is okay to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.

6. Everyone should car pool but me.

7. Bring back the word "stewardesses"

8. Synchronized Swimming is not a sport.

9. Mudwrestling is a sport.

NO MA'AM

Where a buck's enough to see their stuff, at the nudie bar.

Where the breasts may be fake but man do they shake, at the nudie bar.

Where you swear like a sailor, and wish you could nail her, at the nudie bar.

Where the cops are at the door, and there's a Kennedy on the floor, at the nudie bar.

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